Reading the Word in 3-D!

Last week, our team had a cross-cultural training, most of which I'd heard several times before. However, a few things were new for me, and one of them I'd like to share with you, if I can do a complex topic justice in a few, short paragraphs - of learning to read the Word in 3-D.

There are 3 general world-views on our little planet-home, Earth: guilt/innocence (G/I), power/fear (P/F), and honor/shame (H/S). To give a small insight into what these mean w/o writing sheets and sheets, G/I is a more "black & white" view of the world where there is always right & wrong. The questions asked are "What's wrong?," "Who's at fault and needs to be punished?" and there is little room for ambiguity or lack of clarity. There is no concept of "this is different" w/o a value statement. There are many defined rules and boundaries. One is guilty, even if not caught. It is important to be right. P/F is "I'm not in control" and the questions are: "Who is powerful and how can I side with them?" What is feared is to be avoided and appeased. There is no trust in the justice system (bribery is common) and one creates one's own laws b/c the laws don't represent true justice and don't protect those who are right. It is important not to show weakness or vulnerability. H/S asks "Am I improved or not improved by society?" One maintains self-respect not by choosing what is good or liked, but what is expected of you and how it affects your family and community. There is a need to cover up, to not be exposed and failure or exposure means exclusion from the community. The question is not did something bad happen or not, but how the community sees the situation. So, shame doesn't result from doing something wrong, but from being found out. For example, most of Northern America and Europe are G/I, most of Africa is P/F, and most of the Arab world is H/S.

Of course, there is a lot more to this, but that should give you a general idea of the 3 worldviews in question. What is interesting is to read the Word and look for how it speaks to each of these worldviews (and this doesn't mean ignoring the original cultural context). For example, in looking at Adam & Eve's response to their sin in the garden? It covered all 3 worldviews: feeling guilty for doing wrong (G/I), fear of what would happen (P/F), and shame (H/S). Then, take the miracle of turning water to wine, for example. The question is not whether it's okay to drink or not (G/I), rather Jesus shows his incredible power (P/F) when he covers the shame of the host family by providing good wine when the wine ran out before the end of the wedding feast (H/S). The same can be done with many passages of scripture which answer the G/I finger-pointing of the pharisees with the power of God, bringing honor instead of shame.

In bringing the Good News to the different worldviews, different approaches are needed as well, in order for each to realize their needs and see that those needs are met in God's plan. For G/I, it's probably clear to everyone - God removes guilt and restores innocence. For P/F, God is the most powerful (examples of Jesus driving out demons, controlling the weather, etc.) - in a power battle, He always wins. With Him, one is safe and protected. For H/S, God gives a better covering - He removes shame and restores honor. God says "I lift your head up" and brings you back into community. In this worldview, it's also crucial to win a family, not just an individual.

It's hard to explain all of this so briefly, and there's a lot more to this, but hopefully that has given you a small taste of how the Word speaks to each of the 3 worldviews, not just the G/I worldview of the West. Try reading the Word in 3-D this week and see what you discover! :)

What's in a name?

Perhaps the 'ere old question as to whether a rose would smell as sweet if it were not named a rose, has never been answered... However, I can definitely say that being called by a name that is not your name is in no way sweet!

If I had even 1 cent for every time someone added an "h" between the first and second letters of my name, making it an entirely different name (and meaning), I would be a millionaire, possibly even a billionaire! :P

While goofing up and changing a person's name may sound like no big deal to the overly abundant Tom, Joe, and Marys of the world, as someone with a very uncommon name, I find it somewhat offensive when someone who "knows" me (we established an acquaintanceship at a conference, training, work, school, etc.) continually calls me by the wrong name, even after I correct him/her. Over time, I begin to think that either the person is just plain stupid or else doesn't really know me from Adam! :)

IMHO, while I don't know about a Rhose's sweet smell changing (misspelling intentional), I am *not* the name you like to mistake me for and no, I do not like to be called it, nor will I smell as sweet (LOL!). ;)

So please, you Tom, Joe, and Marys of the world - while we know that your names are very common, when you encounter someone with an uncommon name, take the few seconds it requires to turn on your brain to pay attention and actually learn it and use it, especially if you call yourself a friend! :) Then, you will receive an undying, heart-felt "thank you" from all the uncommonly named people of the world! ;)

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Beautiful roses from wonderful parents

Today, I received a very special, totally unexpected surprise - a bouquet of beautiful roses and a card from my parents, delivered to me by 2 of my friends. It brought me a lot of joy to receive this memento of love from my parents on our special holiday, especially as they are so far away right now. It definitely brightened my day and made me smile. :)

I don't know how you and your family celebrates Valentine's Day, but ours has always celebrated is as a special family holiday. On Valentine's Day morning, we would wake up and go to the kitchen for breakfast, and there would be a card, flowers, some candy, and sometimes even a present at our place at the table, from our father. This is a special reminder of how much our father loves each of his girls and wants us to know that he cares for us. For us, it is also a picture of the love our heavenly Father has for each of us - unconditional, satisfying, and special - something to be celebrated.

Today, instead of focusing on physical romance or loneliness, take the time to send a token of your love to your family and friends. Be thankful for dear ones in your life. And on this holiday, celebrate the wonderful love which our heavenly Father has given us in the ultimate gift/sacrifice, His Son in free exchange for the penalty of our transgressions. Rejoice in such unconditional love and pass it on to others around you today! :)

<3 Happy Valentine's Day! <3

For more info on the origin of Valentine's Day: The history of Valentine's Day (translated from Ukrainian)

Have we lost gratitude in a Modern Age?

A "baba" clearing sidewalks with our standard "reed" broom.

In the modern era of labor-saving devices, fast-food, and pre-made things, it's very easy for people in the "West," especially in North America and Down Under to forget how fortunate they are to have so many things which make life easier, which most people in the world do not have...

When was the last time you were consciously thankful for your everyday modern conveniences like electricity, indoor plumbing, hot & cold running water, washing machine & dryer, refrigerator, freezer, vacuum cleaners, indoor climate control, roomy quarters, personal car, stable, high-speed internet, modern health care, etc.? So many who live outside of Western Europe, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and the USA do not have most or any of these things.

Take, for example, my friends who live in villages just outside my city. They do not have indoor toilets, showers, washing machines (no one here has a dryer - what is it?!), hot water (except what is heated on the stove), internet, gas, modern heating, etc. And then I think of most of my city friends, who are fortunate if they do not have to share a tiny flat with 4 generations of family or if they do not have to live with their entire family in a small 1-room flat (whose main room is only 3 meters by 4 meters). And none \have climate-control, adequate storage space, roomy living spaces, etc. And yet, this is modern life in most of the world...

And as for food, in most of the world there is no such thing as pre-cooked meals which only need to be microwaved and, voila, dinner is served with a very bare minimum of effort. Nor are there large refrigerators and freezers or cupboards in which to hoard months worth of food (and then throw out a lot b/c it spoiled before one could eat it). Nor do most have personal cars with which to transport said groceries, so they must lug them by foot from the store. Instead, people shop every day or every other day for the food they need and have to make everything from scratch, the old-fashioned way (and no, Americans, cooking from scratch does not mean from a box-mix, can, or packet - LOL!). Food is very fresh (which is great for one's health) and spoils quickly, so it is not hoarded away for convenience's sake. Most everyone knows how to really cook, using fresh ingredients, and thinks most Westerners have no clue about real cooking, with their pre-packaged, canned, boxed lives.

So, the next time you get the urge to complain about standing in line, or having to heat up a pre-made meal, or doing a mountain of laundry, or having to go shopping in your car, or the thermostat being a tad too cold, or having to get gas in your personal car, or the slightly slow high-speed internet connection, or having only 1 spare room instead of 2 or 3, or having to clean the toilet or shower, vacuuming carpets (with a vacuum that actually sucks up dirt w/o breaking a sweat and spending an hour on a single carpet!), etc., think about just how many wonderful, modern, life-easing conveniences you experience every day and how the most of the rest of the world does not have any of these.

A good way to cultivate gratitude in the modern age is to be consciously thankful for your every day conveniences. So, the next time you you take a shower, use a microwave, drive a car, do laundry in a machine, save time/energy by cooking something from a can, box, or bag, use the internet, clean the house, take time to be thankful that you have these things and that as a result, your life is much easier than most of the other millions of people on this planet... If you start to do this, you may just be surprised at how much more you learn to appreciate the labor-saving things in life that most people who have them, unfortunately, take for granted. :)

Long time, no write...

Well, it's been a LONG time since I last wrote anything. Partly due to busyness at the end of the summer and then to illness in the fall...although that's not really a good excuse to forgo writing entirely for 6 months!

Recently, my netbook crashed due to a quirky program (COMODO Time Machine, in case you need to avoid it), and after unsuccessful attempts to un-install the program and rectify the problem, in the end I had to reformat and reinstall from scratch. 2 days later, before I had finished this process and copied all my backed-up files back onto the netbook, my brand-new WD external HDD also crashed and I lost all the data which was on it. My IT-savvy friend, Anton, tried to retrieve the files for me, but the damage was physical, due to a power outage, so in the end nothing could be done and it was a total loss.

Now, I have a smaller external HDD which had been totally full, so a few days before the loss of new external HDD, I had deleted most of its data, it in order to be able to have space for regular, full backups. If I only I had been able to see ahead to what would happen a few days later, I wouldn't have touched anything on that HDD and would have only lost a few files which aren't backed up elsewhere. As it turned out, I do not have the ability to see into the future, so these 3 events culminated in permanent loss of quite a bit of data, only some of which can be recovered from old DVD backups or from my father's backup drive where I had copied some of my files (but not all, of course!). In the overall scheme of life, as sad as it is to lose data like this, it's not the end of the world, nor is it really very harmful or disastrous and is very minor, all things considered... There is still much to be thankful for! :)

Usually, when unexpected, unpleasant events occur, the first thought is "Why did this happen?" and "Who's to blame?," especially when these things happen back-to-back. However, I don't think that there must be a why and because for everything that happens like this, as much as we want to know it all in order to find some kind of peace. In reality, my reaction to and recovery from such events is what is important. Do I get angry and frustrated and blame others or myself or even God for allowing this to happen? Or do I pray for help and seek a way to recover from what happened with a good attitude, and gain peace in my heart?

If one thinks about it, most things that happen in our lives are beyond our control. They depend on others, on circumstances, etc. So, how do we handle that which is out of our control? I think often the natural reaction is to try to control it anyway, whether controlling others or our circumstances. This always ends in frustration, not only for ourselves, when we realize that we really can't control these uncontrollable circumstances, but also for those whom we try to control.

So, how can we maintain calm and peace and sanity when unexpected, uncontrollable, unpleasant things happen? Since we cannot control or foresee these unforeseen circumstances, we can learn to trust in and rely on the One who can foresee them and can do something about it, if He so desires. Usually the circumstance does not change because of our prayers, but we do gain peace and calm and strength from giving our problems and worries to the One who cares for us and is able to take care of us. He may allow the circumstance to continue (or He may remove it for us - as has happened for me before), but the important thing is that He is there with us, helping us through it and giving us the much-needed peace, strength, calm, and even joy in the midst of problems and suffering. I have found this to be true for myself - that peace can come in the midst of troubles...

After an unsettling email exchange this morning, I happened to read the quote for the day on my flip-calendar: "Keep looking toward heaven. Look around, and you'll be dismayed. Look inside, and you'll be depressed. Look up, and you'll be thrilled." - Elizabeth Elliot

And in harmony with this: "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise" - Philippians 4:6-8 (NLT)

This peace which God gives us when we give our troubles to Him and trust Him, is something which defies understanding. It doesn't make sense from a human point of view, but from personal experience, I can testify that it is indeed real and attainable, not an empty promise. So, if circumstances or people have gotten you down, try the advice from Philippians; and while your circumstance or that person may not change in anyway, peace will come to your heart and give you relief from the stress and worry you were feeling...

Is cleanliness really next to godliness??

mildew, 2 months of leakage

Often people think that the phrase "cleanliness is next to godliness" is written somewhere in the Scriptures. Sorry to disappoint you, but it's not! However, there is a nugget of truth in this - not that being physically clean makes a person more holy than another person - but in the idea of spiritual cleanliness making you more like God...

Recently, I was visiting someone and saw how filthy and stinky their bathroom was - a bathroom which had recently been totally renovated (an expensive Euro-renovation as we call them here). I thought, "what a shame to have wasted all that money and time and effort to rip everything out and redo it from scratch when just a few years later it's so disgustingly dirty with built-on dirt." It just didn't make sense to me why someone would pour thousands of Euros into completely renovating a bathroom, only to not keep it clean afterward. And to clean it now would take MAJOR effort and a lot of time - and even then, it'd probably never be as clean as it ought to be.

So, now to the main point. The built-up dirt and stains and stink in that new bathroom reminded me of how quickly bad habits, wrong thinking, actions, attitudes, hardness, etc. (a.k.a., sin) in our lives builds up very quickly if we don't keep ourselves "clean" each day. Just as with this nasty bathroom, which was not so long ago brand-new, our hearts and minds and lives have a tendency to get extremely dirty and stinky all too quickly. Anyone who's tried to thoroughly clean an old house and make it look like new, knows how many hours and how much effort it takes (and even then, it's not always 100% successful!). It can be overwhelming to say the least.

To clean up a spill, remove grease splatter, wipe up the floor, clean the toilet immediately after making the mess is super-easy - very little effort or time is required - and afterward things look new again. If one immediately sees and cleans up the mess, it doesn't become a stinky, stubborn stain which is difficult or impossible to remove. But if we wait even a few hours to deal with it, it's already a lot more difficult to take care of. The same is true in our lives. If we learn to immediately recognize and change the bad junk in our lives, it's much easier to deal with because it hasn't yet taken deep root and become a stinky, stubborn habit. However, if we put it off, then it becomes harder and harder to remove and even to recognize (we gradually get used to the stink and dirt and don't even realize it).

So, my encouragement is to learn to recognize the nasty stuff and remove it right away (with God's help, of course) before it becomes a chore or an overwhelming, difficult task... It's a much freer, "cleaner" way to live. (and sure, it doesn't hurt to apply this practice to literal cleaning as well - try it, you might just be surprised at how much less time you have to spend on chores because it's not so hard to keep things clean!)

Expect the Unexpected

Teaching softball during orphan camp

For many living the West, the unexpected is a fairly rare occurrence, probably because Western life is immersed in schedules and orderliness. In general, one knows when one will work, eat, play, sleep, go on holiday, etc. However, I find that my life is anything but that. It's an extremely rare week when I have a stable schedule, let alone my life in general.

The month of June, I had planned to recuperate from the 2 back-to-back illnesses I had, clean and repair all of the tents and equipment needed for summer camps, do overall inventory, focus on discipleship, and assist in a football (soccer) camp at the end of the month if my health permitted. However, at nearly the last minute, everything changed.

Instead of doing what I had planned and scheduled, God had other plans...to help my teammate with the sport portion of a 2-week camp for orphans (daily sport times, big camp games, and fun, short competitions during each evening service). I thought I was going there to help out just for a few days, in order to help coach softball/baseball - an unusual sport here, but one which I know very well. So, I planned to travel back and forth to the camp each day, less than 1 hour away from the city on public transport, and still be able to carry on the usual evening ministries with which I help.

Instead, I ended up there for a solid 2 weeks, only traveling back and forth for Sunday services and to fetch forgotten supplies. In the second week, my teammate left to help another group, leaving me and our helper to take care of things. We both got sick and struggled through a few days. Then, I prayed for help and called a friend to come and help for a day or so to finish out the camp. Thankfully, he came and greatly encouraged and helped us! Then, my teammate came back and we were able to finish strongly and make good memories with the kids. Praise God for giving us enough energy and ideas to do a decent job (although I would have liked to have done better) and for being able to spend quality time with these orphans!

I have no idea what this next month will bring... I have no idea what my schedule will be or what tasks will be given to me. There are many, many opportunities and I need God's wisdom to know what is best and what is not absolutely necessary. I would really like to go into my 3 August camps full of energy and health (something I haven't experienced at summer camps in the last 2 years)...and with everything already ready for September's long travels. But, we will see what God brings and what fits His perfect plans... Please pray for Him to show me what He would have me to do. :)

What colour are your glasses?

We often hear about the idealist/dreamer looking at the world through rose-coloured glasses. But, we never hear about looking at the world through dark-coloured glasses (or clear ones either)...

Often we perceive someone, judging them as if they were just like us, thinking and reasoning like us, motivated like us, and feeling like us. We understand ourselves better than anyone else and it's natural to assume that everyone else sees the world like us and thinks like us. However, more often than not, that's not the case... I do this all the time w/o even realizing it, sometimes with hilarious or disastrous results. How often do we say something, only to see that the person to whom we were speaking totally misunderstood, because we automatically assumed that he thinks just like we think and we didn't take the time to understand him? Sometimes this can be really funny, but more often than not, it puts up false barriers between ourselves and others. Usually these snafus occur simply because we don't really know the other person well enough to understand him or how he thinks. By default, we view him as if he were us...it's only natural.


There once was a man whom I only saw once a week, on Sundays. I was under his leadership and my impression of him in the beginning was not very favorable. He was intimidating and critical and demanding (or so I thought). I didn't dislike him, but I didn't particularly like him either. I wouldn't have chosen him as a traveling companion or someone to just hang out with. In short, I viewed him through dark-coloured glasses, without even realizing it. I only saw negative in him. But then, I had the opportunity to work side-by-side with him on a project for 10 days, sweating in the hot sun all day long. And those 10 days were a total catharsis in my perception of him. He never changed what he said or did, but for the first time, I saw his heart, his true self, and saw that he had a good, kind, gentle heart, despite his apparent "bark." The longer we worked together, the more my perception of him changed and the more and more I grew to like him and enjoy hanging around him. In getting to really know him for who he was, I put off the dark-coloured glasses and put on clear, unbiases ones. After that project, when the next Sunday rolled around, I was no longer intimidated by his gruffness or felt criticised by his admonitions of us to do better and to strive for perfection. Instead, I finally saw, with unbiased view, the twinkle in his eyes and the smile at the corners of his mouth and the kindness and love he had for all of us. I finally understood that he really cared about us and only wanted us to learn and to do our best. Ever since then, when others complained about his scary "bark", I came to his defense - he had no "bite" (nor bark really). In just 10 short days, he had changed from someone I'd almost avoid to someone I really enjoyed hanging around and joking with - but actually, he didn't change a whit, I did. I had learned to see his true self. I had learned the valuable skill of seeking to see other people's hearts, rather than to make pat assumptions based on outward impressions or on how I would act or think.

I'll never forget what I learned all those years ago, nor how wrong first or casual impressions usually are. The degree that I don't really know someone, is the degree that I mis-judge them and see them through dark-coloured glasses instead of unbiased clear ones. It's not easy to put aside those dark-coloured glasses for clear ones, and it takes a lot of effort to make this a perpetual habit, but it sure makes life a lot more pleasant and true! :-)

A phrase my parents used to say comes in handy with this: "give them the benefit of the doubt." -- assume the positive rather than the negative about someone and you may just be surprised about how much rosier and happier the world seems! 8-)

Sundays sometimes stink! :'-(

OK, I figured that title might get your attention! Get ready for a bit of a rant...it's been bottled up for a while, but I must say something at last. This year Sunday afternoons have been very difficult for me. Why? Well, ever since most of my closest friends "coupled off" and we stopped our evening film theatre (and what with different friends attending different services at different times and our service now starting at 10 AM instead of 12 AM), I am usually left alone ALL day long... Which for a social "Tigger" like me, is, well, quite honestly, very lonely and B-O-R-I-N-G!!! (with all capitals!)

Of course, I understand that my couple friends prefer usually to spend their day off either alone or with one of their families, gearing up for their permanent coupling. But, for singles w/o local family, like me, it is difficult to be continually patient with them, especially after I hear that they went somewhere fun, but only with other couples (not thinking to invite their single, family-less friends to join them).

Now, I am very used to being a "3rd nostril" (as I call it - or 3rd wheel as most others call it) - the odd man out or the one that doesn't quite fit in...b/c for most of my growing up years I was dancing to the beat of a different drum (until I moved here and finally felt "normal" for the first time outside my own family) and also b/c I was the official chaperone for both of my sisters' courting years. So, I really don't mind being a single person amongst couples...

But, what I do mind very much is often being left out by close friends with whom I used to hang out a lot just b/c I don't have a 2nd "half" attached to my hip (as if I'm not a whole person w/o a "significant other" - ha!) (unless I force my company on them - which I don't really feel comfortable to do b/c I don't like to make them feel uncomfortable). And on the other hand, people here should know by now that I really enjoy it when friends stop by to visit me (unless I'm sick and need to sleep) - no special invitation needed - just B.Y.O.S. (meaning "bring your own self").

Now to be fair, I think that my "coupled" friends simply do not realize how difficult Sundays are for me - with no family nearby and no single friends who have free time when I have free time... Except on rare occasion, Sunday is a long, lonely, boring day and I can't even call most of my family for a chat until late evening, b/c of the big time and schedule difference. I am social by nature - it's in my the fibres of my being - so, I prefer to be connected most of the time...

Well, enough babbling already. I hope that your Sunday is pleasant and full of friends and family. And if you are blessed with family living nearby (or hey, even in the same time zone or 2), don't forget to visit or call them and tell them how much you love them. Often we don't realize how precious/priceless family is until we don't have them nearby or they're gone... That said, I'm truly very thankful for having such a loving, supportive family, even though they are all far, far, far away!

The quiet city...

Recently, we celebrated Easter here in Ukraine, and spring finally won it's weeks-long battle with winter just in time for the holiday! Everything here closes on Easter Sunday (even the 24-7 shops) and the city lies hushed and quiet for a brief moment in time...

Our service was at 8 AM, special for the holiday, so I got up before sunrise and walked to the main bus station bus stop (not the closest to me)...and just missed catching one of the extremely few marshrutkas (mini-bus) to the city center. So, I waited and waited and waited, enjoying the absolute stillness and emptiness of the usually busy city streets and sidewalks. Finally, I realized that I would be late if I didn't just make a run for it on foot and started briskly walking to the center, thankful that my heavy 5-string bass was already at the hall and I didn't have to lug it along. Finally, just 1 stop from the center, a lone marshrutka chugged it's way to the bus stop and I got on to save the 10-15 minute remaining walk, and arrived in time! :-)

Although this year I wasn't in time to bake pascha (special Easter bread) or decorate eggs or do anything to prepare for Easter b/c of lots of extra work with a Swedish group arriving the day before Easter to do a week of orphanage outreaches, I was very thankful for the quiet time on Easter Sunday morning to enjoy the first sunshine of spring and reflect on the meaning of the celebration.

I hope you had a blessed Easter celebration! :-)

How many 'sides' do you have?

Having fun w/ nephews & nieces

OK, so that may seem like a strange question to you (and no, "round is a shape" doesn't count as an answer)!

What I mean is this... I don't know about you, but depending on what responsibility I have, what job/activity I am doing, what my health is, or other factors, certain parts of my personality are unconciously subdued or filtered out while other parts show much more strongly (or even exclusively) - except to those who know me extremely well, and can see more 'sides' of me at once, despite my words or facial expressions at the moment.

For example, when I first moved here and didn't know the language, I immediately lost my ability to communicate with subtle humor, which was a big part of my personality. I love subtle, dry humor, but without knowing the language, I totally lost that part of me from the first day here. I also had to concentrate and focus so hard on what people said in order to understand them, that I became much more serious and quiet than is my true nature in order to just survive... Add to that a much more direct culture than where I lived before, and my already overly direct side soon strangled what indirect communication skills were left - which also led to being more serious and forceful than I really meant to be (along with the rough language skills enhancing that tendency).

Overwhelmed at camp

And after 4 years here, despite learning 2 languages at the same time and communicating okay most of the time, I see that unfortunately, my humorous, fun-loving side is still mostly suppressed and not seen by many people, except for rare times or circumstances...partly b/c I still have not mastered enough of the subtleties of these difficult, complex languages, partly b/c I am still shy with most people whom I don't know extremely well and with whom I feel totally comfortable, and partly b/c I have had a lot of extra responsibility and pressure with my current vocation as well as the hugh stress of being a foreigner under constant scrutiny and judgement/condemnation from almost everyone around me, no matter how much progress I've made.

Then, for example, the work I am doing also influences which side is more visible. I find that when I have to be in charge of a project or have to do something by myself (which is more often than not here), that I tend to be all hard work and no fun...not on purpose, but b/c I want to do the job to the very best of my ability and that requires 100% of me and usually leaves no time for goofing off. (For those of you who knew me as a child or teen, and haven't seen me more recently, you've probably rarely seen the serious side of me. And those of you who've only known me more recently probably haven't often seen the silly, fun-loving side of me.) The same is true when I feel responsible for someone or something (which is most of the time here)...or when I am sick (which has also been the case more often than not these past few years) and as a result, I don't have the extra energy required to relax and not be in emergency/survival mode.

Yes, this is a torch - fun!

Tonight, after going to the theatre with friends (1st time ever here) and then going afterwards to a friend's house for a late dinner with friends and being sleepy all day, I found myself in rare humor - my silly mode had finally kicked in (a very rare thing these past 4 years). While waiting for the marshrutka home with another friend, we were just joking around and laughing like crazy and I thought, "man, it's been so long since I've just cracked up and let loose and been funny and not had to be serious and responsible for someone or something or in charge of a project or people or help someone!" It felt so good to just let loose and be a little hyper for once and be able to goof around and not have to worry about rushing off to a meeting, taking care of other people, fixing someone's injury/illness, setting up/leading/tearing down a game, planning a project, being overwhelmed by an enourmous amount of work, or constantly sick, etc... It was also really nice to laugh *with* someone rather than being constantly laughed at for my frequent mispronunciations and grammatical errors (I can be rather creative with words - and totally by mistake, but boy do I get sick of being laughed at every day!).

I really regret that I haven't shown this side of myself more often with my friends (especially when the serious side of me is naturally a smaller part of who I am than the fun-loving side). I think maybe people would feel less intimidated and more at ease if they saw that inside I am really not the super-serious, all work and no play responsible person whom they so often see. 4 years ago, I almost instantly became way too much of an "all work, no play" person, rather than the well-balanced, "work hard, play hard" person which I used to be before moving here (one who would hold serious work meetings outside as a picnic to make them fun instead of boring, one who would frequently organize 15 minute work-break soccer or frisbee games with co-workers to de-stress and re-charge for the afternoon's work, one who would often gather co-workers to the local river for a swim and swing on a rope swing as our lunch break and come back to work dripping wet, one who would get co-workers together to go rollerblading or biking during lunch, one who would play paintball on the weekends with friends, wear shorts in the winter, etc., etc., etc....).

How to rectify this situation, while still having a lot of responsibility/work and not having anywhere near as much energy/health as I've had the rest of my life prior to these past few years, I'm not sure, but it sure would be nice to once again be my complete, more well-balanced "work hard, play hard" self, and motivate others to be the same, if possible!!!!

So many "boys" - where are all the men?

It struck me that in our modern societies, there are far too many overgrown boys in their late 20s and 30s (and even 40s) and far too few men...

I don't say there are no men, because that's definitely not true. However, there currently is a disturbing trend which is allowing the young generation to grow up without really growing up - and this is especially effecting guys...

Maybe it's just me, but I've noticed that we as a society far too often allow guys to be perfectly comfortable being overgrown, lazy, ungentlemanlike, irresponsible men who act like big undisciplined boys and haven't yet understood that it's long past time for them to stop acting up and become real men.

Not only is it not attractive to women for men to act like big babies, but it's not good for society in general. We need men to take responsibility on themselves and be more serious and disciplined and do what they were designed to do (and this doesn't mean just to make money - even a monkey can do that, if trained). We don't need little boys in big bodies who think that it's acceptable to act irresponsibly and be thoughtless in their actions towards others.

I can't speak for every women on the planet, but I think that most women still want men who look out for the good of others and sacrifice themselves to fulfill a promise or to be responsible. We need men who are responsible, have integrity, and care about and look out for the well-being of others. In short, we need "warrior poets" - to coin the phrase of Eric Ludy - men who have a tender heart and yet are strong ("manly") and desire to take care of others. In other words, they have a sense of duty and integrity which helps them to put aside childish things and take upon themselves the duties and responsibilities of adulthood. When was the last time you saw that from the average young man on the streets?

So, who is at fault? Hmm, I would say partly the media and American movies where characters live like irresponsible teenagers far into their 30s and even their 40s and people start to change their idea of normal to match the media (which has openly stated it's goal to push the envelope and go against the norm). Partly this problem is a lack of good training and parenting, and a society that has lowered it's norms. But mostly, I think it's our fault, that is the fault of us as individuals. We've lowered our expectations of men, and as Jaime Escalante said, "people rise to the level of expectation." We get what we expect - and we've started to expect far less than what we should from guys.

Ladies, when was the last time you thanked a guy for opening a door for you? Or when was the last time you asked for help or let a man carry a heavy package for you? When was the last time you expected better, more responsible behavior from guys and gently let that be known (in a subtle way of course, so as not to wound their egos)? When was the last time you allowed a guy to be a leader instead of hen-pecking him or taking over for him without giving him a chance to really shine?

It's time that we raised our expectations and helped young men become real men - ones that our grandparents would be proud of! Do a favor to all the young women out there and help our young men grow up the right way and become great men!

* some books and sites worth reading on this subject:
- "God's Gift To Women: Discovering the Lost Greatness of Masculinity" by Eric Ludy
- http://ellerslie.com/Home.html
- http://ellerslie.com/Eric_Ludy/Eric_Ludy.html
- http://www.powerofpurity.org/
- "Answering the Guy Questions: the set-apart girl's guide to relating to the opposite sex"
- "Authentic Beauty"
- "Secret Keeper: The Delicate Power of Modesty"

Pandemic or no pandemic? That is the question...

For those of you who have been reading European news, you've probably seen that Ukraine has declared a swine flu pandemic earlier this week. The outbreak began last week, with thousands having been infected already.

To date, there have been about 40+ officially reported deaths from swine flu in several of our western oblasts (provinces) and there is talk about declaring a state of emergency in at least 3 of them soon.

In the meantime, all schools and universities are closed for 3 weeks and all mass gatherings have been banned in order to reduce the rate of transmission. Hospitals and clinics have been temporarily taken over by the government and people are asked to avoid all unnecessary travel from infected oblasts, although so far that has not been enforced.

On the streets, far fewer people are out and about, and many are wearing face masks to protect themselves (or others) against disease (although there is a big question as to how much wearing a mask (not a respirator) really helps protect the wearer, if at all).

There is also talk of closing all small businesses and only allowing essential services and large super-stores to remain open (although in my opinion, that would only exacerbate the problem as that would be congregating large masses of people together, duh!! - I'd opt for leaving the open markets/bazaars open, since fresh air helps prevent the spread of air-borne pathogens).

Additionally, I've heard that pharmacies have run out of vitamins and anti-viral medicines already with everyone rushing to buy them up. In some regions, citrus fruits are now scarce or prices have skyrocketed. People are buying lots of onions, garlic, and lemons to boost immune systems and kill germs (a huge truckload of lemons was shipped to our local super market this week).

But, is it really a swine flu *pandemic*? According to dictionary.com, a pandemic is: occurring over a wide geographic area and affecting an exceptionally high proportion of the population. So far, I'd say that we're not at that stage yet. Yes, we have a crisis, but thankfully so far the percentage of the population effected is not exceptionally high. And compared to neighboring countries, we've been very fortunate so far.

However, that doesn't mean that we should throw all precaution to the wind. Avoiding unnecessary contact with large groups of potentially ill people; boosting one's immune system through a healthy diet, anti-septic foods (such as garlic, onions, etc.), vitamins, lots of warm liquids, salt-baking soda-iodine-water rinses for nose and throat, and getting plenty of sleep; closing schools/universities in order to reduce risk of transmission; and avoiding unnecessary travel to unaffected regions are all great advice to follow...

In the end, common sense and keeping calm go a long way to preventing a crisis from becoming an out-and-out panic.

The umbrella everyone wants...

On Tuesday, on the way to practice, it looked like rain, so I took along my huge yellow and blue striped IKEA umbrella, which just happens to be the exact colours of the Ukrainian flag.

Anyway, there happened to be a concert in the center on Tuesday night and I had to walk through the concert area on the way to/from practice. The streets for several blocks around the center were all closed to motor vehicles and were packed with people enjoying the concert. It was difficult to even walk through the area because of the huge number of people.

On the way home from practice, it was raining, so I opened my patriotic-themed umbrella to protect myself and my friend from the rain, little realizing the rapt attention it would soon bring.

As we pushed our way through the celebratory crowd, everyone was staring at my umbrella and commenting on how cool it was. Several yelled out to ask if they could take a picture with it and one guy even tried to grab it from me, but I pushed his arm away. All the way home, all the bystanders kept talking about the umbrella, envying it, and wishing it was theirs...

Now, don't you wish you had such a cool, patriotic umbrella, the envy of everyone in your city?! (and just imagine if we had a bunch of these, we could make enough to support our camps and take care of gym rental and more) ;-)

Rude is a cultural thing...

Yesterday, I received a somewhat rude 1-line email response to a work-related question from someone whom I am not acquainted with, but who works in my organization in a different country. I was rather unpleasantly surprised at the reply and without going into any details, it implied that I was stupid, and it didn't answer my question at all. In fact, the response showed that the writer was ignorant of the facts.

As I thought about how best to respond in order to clarify things (and don't worry, I didn't even address the rudeness issue), I thought about how often I receive unwarranted rude or harsh emails out of the blue from particular cultures (most often Germanic or American) or sub-cultures (most often IT or elderly).

Now, while it is certainly true that what is polite in one culture may be rude in another culture and visa versa, I wonder just how much of a global communication culture (especially email) we actually have acquired and what is generally considered universally rude...

Anyway, without having satisfied that particular question, at least I can try to write in a culturally-sensitive, polite manner (to the best of my knowledge) and not use ALL CAPITAL LETTERS (which is considered yelling in email) and not imply that someone is stupid.

Gotta love this world... ;-)

Waylaid for a week in Warsaw

Sunrise from Old Town, Warszawa

7 days, 6 fresh bulichkyi, 5 different hostels, 4 new sights, 3 lessons learned, 2 sore legs, and 1 unexpected adventure!

I've just spent an unexpected week in Warsaw, waylaid by red tape...and as usual, I don't ever need to seek out adventure, it always has a way of finding me no matter how hard I try to hide! ;-)

On a Tuesday evening, I traveled by overnight train to Warsaw to apply for a new visa to continue to live here, expecting to arrive on Wednesday morning, go to the consulate, receive a new visa, and return home on the evening train (as has been my previous experience). So, I didn't take anything extra with me except for a change of undies (thankfully!).

The adventures began on the train... I was assigned a lower berth in a compartment alone with a very creepy young man. I had been praying that God would protect me whilst traveling alone - and He soon answered in an interesting way. About 5 minutes after the train left the station, the conductor came 'round and asked if I'd be willing to move to the next compartment b/c she needed a place with 3 berths together for a family. I said, "sure, no problem," and moved to an upper berth in the next compartment. As it turned out, there was a very nice girl and an older man already in the compartment (which was much, much safer than the creepy young man). A few minutes later, the conductor came by again to say that I could return to my original berth b/c she didn't need the spaces anymore. But, not wanting to be stuck with a creepy guy, I asked to stay in the new berth and thankfully, she agreed.

The next morning (Wednesday), the adventures continued with almost a 2 hour delay. I was worried that I'd be too late to get to the consulate in time to get everything done since they were only open until noon. As it turned out, there was no need to worry about being in time... After asking a nice old lady about which tram to take to the consulate (the one listed on their site no longer exists), I arrived at the consulate, only to find out that as of the 1st of August, it is CLOSED on Wednesdays! Story of my life...

Well, I figured that wasn't a problem since I had written down the names and addresses of several youth hostels and could easily spend the night and then leave on the afternoon train the next day.

I easily found the hostel, arranged for a bed, left my bag at the reception desk, and wandered around Warsaw looking for something new to see (since I've been in Warsaw more than a dozen times and seen most of what there is to see within walking distance of the central train station).

The next morning, I got up before the crack of dawn and was waiting in front of the consulate by 7 AM, barely being the 1st in line. By 8:30 AM, the line had grown to about 15 people, and then the door buzzed and I unsuccessfully tried to pull it open, not realizing that it was a "push" door (LOL).

I handed in my documents and passport, and then received a great shock... The lady asked why I was in Poland. I replied "to apply for a new visa" and she then said that they only give visas to Polish citizens or people who work in Poland and I must go to the US to apply for a visa. What?! This was something new... Every year I have applied for and received a visa in various countries other than the US. I won't go into our discussion about where my visas came from (NOT from the US according to the visas, and the opposite according to her). So, I opened my mouth, and out came, "but I opened a visa here in 2006" - and "if I had only known before, I just didn't know!" - God gave wisdom not to contradict what she had said, yet still tell the truth, and to be a clueless person (which I really was).

Thankfully, after that, she agreed to give the visa just this once, but next time I must travel to the US to apply. Then, she said that the visa would be ready next Thursday the 24th (8 days from that day). I gasped again with shock and asked if there was any possible way to get it done sooner b/c I had always been able to get it that same day. Perhaps I could pay more money or ??? And the response was that they were too busy and couldn't do it any faster and the price was the same regardless. Well, I knew I had a camp starting on the next Wednesday morning and I was in charge of the games, so I really couldn't miss it. So, I explained the situation and begged for it to possibly be ready a bit sooner. Then, she agreed to give it to me on Wednesday, when they were closed, and asked when my flight was. I explained that I was traveling by train and that I really, really needed to leave on the 22nd b/c the camp started on the 23rd int he morning... Thankfully, in the end, she agreed to have it ready for me on Tuesday so that I could arrive a few hours before the camp started.

Relieved, and yet still slightly panicked, I left the consulate and thought and prayed about what to do. The thought of being stuck totally alone in Warsaw without anything to do scared me b/c I really don't do well with enforced solitude - especially without having brought something interesting to do. But, after the initial panic and trying to find a way to visit one of my friends who lives not too far from Poland (they were all away that weekend), I realized that I didn't have enough money to travel somewhere and that I'd have to stay in Warsaw by my self...with nothing to do!

Chopin concert in the park

But, praise God, the weather was super all week long and I was able to find enough to do to keep from going crazy with boredom. I had to do a bit of shopping (since 3-4 days in the same clothes day and night was making me look and smell rather like a bum), and that even turned out to be a blessing b/c I didn't need to rush (I hate shopping, but when it is required I like to take my time and not rush so as not to regret what I've bought). It also was a blessing b/c I was able to find excellent quality clothes for the same or cheaper prices than at home...

I also was able to go biking, find new parks, listen to a free outdoor Chopin concert, and most of all, relax mentally and spiritually during this enforced time away from work and friends. Although I didn't get much physical rest (from not sleeping well in the noisy hostels and having to be outside all day while the hostels were closed for cleaning, etc., and walking many kilometers in dress shoes on painful, swollen legs, etc.), I found it a surprisingly enjoyable week, despite the enforced solitude!

So, I am very thankful for answered prayers and for receiving the visa in the end, despite the many unforeseen obstacles. I am thankful for super weather and the chance to go biking (which really helped my legs heal quickly). I am thankful for safe travels and relatively inexpensive places to stay, despite the noise or not-so-ideal conditions. I am very thankful for my parent's financial help and for finding some nice clothes that fit and are good quality. And I am thankful for the extra time in the Word and prayer which I wouldn't have had had I been back home and in the midst of planning and preparations for the camp and other ministries... And most of all, I am thankful to be back and to have another year without needing to apply for a visa! :-)

Can one be fashionably modest in a world where dressing like a hooker is the status quo?

So, can one be fashionably modest in a world where dressing like a hooker is the status quo? Is it even possible to be fashionable and modest at the same time? And what exactly is modest?

So, first of all, just what is the definition of modesty?
From dictionary.com, "modesty" is:
1. the quality of being modest; freedom from vanity, boastfulness, etc.
2. regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc.
3. simplicity; moderation.

And from the American Heritage dictionary:
1. The state or quality of being modest.
2. Reserve or propriety in speech, dress, or behavior.
3. Lack of pretentiousness; simplicity.

The word first made it's appearance in the English language in 1531, and meant "freedom from exaggeration, self-control." It was used again in 1553 as meaning "having a moderate opinion of oneself."

I find it very interesting that the main focus is on humility, simplicity, self-control, and moderation.

Now, for everyone there is a slightly different definition of modesty as regards clothing, how much is too much and what can/can't be shown. However, I think that modesty isn't about conforming to a strict set of rules of how many centimeters a hemline should be (although that can be a helpful guideline at first), but rather modesty is a state of the heart... And when one is truly modest at heart, one doesn't need measurement rules to decide what is or isn't modest, one understands how to dress in a way that is nice (and I mean that in multiple senses of the word).
(Note: links to modest, modern clothing sites are at the bottom of this post)

In my opinion, a modest woman is someone who isn't focused on attracting men sexually. Rather, she is confident in herself, humble, and concerned more about the needs of those around her than about pleasing herself. She understands the beauty of mystery and doesn't want to make it hard for others to stay pure mentally or physically. She exhibits a calm, peaceful spirit and appropriate reserve (meaning not just in her appearance, but in her behavior as well). Now, modesty doesn't mean being an invisible wall-flower (have you ever seen a confident wall-flower?), but it certainly doesn't mean being a loud, brash, flashy woman who doesn't know how to behave appropriately. In earlier times, a brash, uncontrolled woman would have been labeled uncouth or uncultured (and that's putting it nicely); however, in today's backwards view of reality, she is held up as an ideal for young woman to aspire to...

So, how can one dress modestly and yet still be modern and attractive (and I use attractive in the sense not meaning to draw overt attention to oneself, but meaning to dress in a way which is feminine and not frumpy or sloppy)? Until recently, it had become very difficult, if not impossible, to find modest, yet attractive, modern clothing in major retail stores. Thanks to a recent trend for longer length tops, it is becoming just slightly easier. But, is it really possible to attempt to dress in a modest, attractive manner and not be tainted by the overwhelming fashion trend of low necklines, high hemlines, thongs, see-through tops, ultra low-rise jeans, bare bellies (can anyone say puffy muffin top?)? I believe that it is...but that it takes a LOT of work and persistence.

I sometimes find it rather discouraging to constantly be surrounded by stick-thin, skimpily dressed girls (where a size 40/44 (6/8 US) is an "XXL" and it's often hard to even find that size in the local shops). There are also times when I feel unfashionable, and yet to give in to the self-appointed fashion gurus and wear tight, revealing, spangle-encrusted clothing is not an option. So, what to do? How to dress in a way that doesn't compromise modesty, but is fashionable and modern at the same time? I'd have to be the first to admit, that I'm still learning...

I think that this requires becoming an expert shopper, knowing what styles are going to work for your body, and hunting those down. It also means being very creative, often altering items or putting together items that weren't originally meant to go together. And, it means spending a lot of time trying everything on, subjecting it to the test of movement (sitting, bending all the way over, slouching, raising one's arms, etc.), and only purchasing what doesn't show parts that aren't supposed to show. And sometimes, much to my chagrin, it means sewing something from scratch because nothing in the stores quite works for a particular occasion (or is way too expensive to consider - and speaking of too expensive, did you ever wonder why expensive clothing is usually modest as a rule and the affordable clothing bracket is where it's much harder to find modest options?? - think about it).

My shopping goal (and I want to mention now that I really, really HATE shopping - I'd rather clean a toilet with a toothbrush or watch professional bowling (which btw, is super-boring if you've never watched before - will it be a strike or only a spare?! oooh!)) is to come away with wardrobe pieces which fit, flatter, function, and feel good - and are classy enough to outlast the expiration date on my credit card. Meeting this goal is not easy, but it is slowly becoming more doable... Yet, I often come away from a shopping trip with little or nothing to show for it and a huge amount of frustration at the lack of available attractively modest clothing. When frustrated at the lack of options, I don't advocate throwing femininity to the wind and only dressing in boxy t-shirts and jeans or baggy shorts/skirts and thinking that it's a valid solution to the modesty problem. To be quite honest, I think that's a cop-out and not only not very feminine, but it also prevents one from being able to say something to young girls about being more modest and being heard (I mean think about it - would you at age 12 have listened to fashion advice from someone whom you thought dressed like a total frump? Unless you're very unique, I don't think so.).

I do think it's important for women who want to dress modestly to also make the extra effort to dress in a way which is also feminine and pretty. <<"Gasp!" I can't believe I just wrote that - this coming from someone who's entire wardrobe at one point in her life consisted of baggy shorts and over-sized, manly t-shirts b/c I didn't feel attractive and didn't know how to look nice and yet still be comfortable and be able to move freely (and I'm still learning that one). Oh, and I still got more than enough of whistles and yells on the streets in my baggy days, even more so than when dressing more femininely and fashionably, go figure!>>

But, before you jump to any conclusions, I'm not advocating focusing one's time and attention on primping or trying to look stunning to attract the opposite sex. In fact, I advocate just the opposite. However, I do think that when one is buying clothing (which one must do from time to time), that one should put in the effort it takes to purchase nice, classy, fashionable items, instead of just taking a few seconds to pick up a plain 'ole t-shirt and calling it a day (and even a t-shirt can be something more if it's cut well, embellished, and of a more feminine design). Going back to the definition of modesty, it's more about simplicity and avoiding extremes and displays of vanity (and I'd have to say that in my opinion, some of the manly t-shirt, long skirt-wearing advocates are rather extreme in their dress, which interestingly enough, bucks the very definition of modesty). So, onward and upward - where is this rambling of thoughts going??

To conclude my venting about modesty, I discovered something interesting recently. There is a whole new internet-based shopping trend -- a handful of sites where one can purchase ready-made clothing which is modest and reasonably fashionable. Some of the sites have higher prices and cater more to the boutique crowd, while others have more reasonable prices and cater more to the mass consumer. Here are the links to some of those on-line shops, in no particular order (disclaimer: I do not personally endorse any of these links, nor am I responsible for the contents of any of these links, and be aware that some of these sites support religious views which differ from mine):

• Tailored Lilly - "modest, modern apparel" (www.tailoredlilly.com) - nice dresses and other clothing, $-$$
• Layers Clothing (www.layersclothing.com) - fun tops and swimsuits, $-$$
• Modbe Clothing - "all about you, your body, your fit and style!" (www.modbeclothing.com) - great jeans (and all-around clothing)!, $$
• Apricot Apparel - "keeping you covered in style" (www.apricotapparel.com) - great layering pieces, $
• Divine Modestee (diviinemodestee.com) - nice layering pieces, dresses, and swimwear, $-$$
• Funky Frum - "stylish, modern clothing for modern women" (www.funkyfrum.com) - trendy, modest clothing, $$
• Mikarose (www.mikarose.com) - cool dresses and tops, $$
• Sakura Rose (www.sakurarose.com) - nice variety of clothing and jewelry, $-$$
• Sierra Brooke - "modern, stylish clothes and dresses for women and girls" (www.sierrabrooke.com) - hip clothing, $-$$
• Shade Clothing (www.shadeclothing.com) - huge selection of basics, $-$$
• Christa Taylor - "pioneering a modest clothing revolution (www.christa-taylor.com) - cool, funky styles, $$$
• Lime Ricki - "for the latest in hip, funky {modest} swimwear" (www.limericki.com) $$-$$$
• Shabby Apple (www.shabbyapple.com) - chic dresses, $$$
• Jen Clothing (www.jenclothing.com) - focus on dresses, $$$-$$$$
• Modest Wedding Dresses & Gowns - absolutely gorgeous dresses, $$$$
• Paulina Carmel - "comfort, style, modesty" (www.paulinacarmel.com) - very small selection, $-$$
• Mia Bellina (www.miabellina.com) - tons of tops (note: some of the models are not modest), $
• Be Precious - "be pure, be stylish" (www.bepreciousclothing.com) - mostly simple tops and skirts, $$
• Upstream Girl - "don't go with the flow, go upstream" (www.upstreamgirl.com) - decent clothing for girls, $$
• Modest Clothes Index (www.modestclothes.com) - links to more modest clothing sites, some modern, some not

(site price guide: $ - most items less than $20, $$ - most items $20-$40, $$$ - most items $40-60, $$$$ - most items more than $60)

Or you can just Google "modest women's clothing" and see for yourself what you can find...

Fun in Beldibi, Turkey!

I just got back from a 9-day get-away to hot, humid, but beautiful Beldibi, Turkey with my friend, Esther. It was a very relaxing trip, despite losing 2 nights of sleep on both ends b/c of traveling through the night.

The location was super! The town is a small, quiet place nestled between rugged mountains and the crystal-clear blue/green Mediterranean sea. Our hotel was in the first line, meaning nothing between it and the beach (except for some trees and a wall). The hotel was fine - nothing fancy, but clean and with a good, working air-conditioner! The food was excellent - lots of fresh vegetables, fruit, grilled meats, and interesting Turkish-style desserts each day. Everything was included in the price, so it was eat-all-you-can and free drinks.

We went swimming each morning after early breakfast until lunch time, then after lunch, during the hot hours (11-15) we hung out in our room and played games or read or watched a movie. Then, we went out again around 15:00 for more swimming and relaxing on the beach until the sun went behind the mountains just before dinner (19:00). We'd shower and change for dinner and if we arrived too early, we'd play a round of Yatzee or Cheater to pass the time. After dinner, we'd walk up and down the main street looking for cheap souvenirs and trying not to get annoyed at the vendors' constant hassling us. We found some great bargains and were able to get affordable birthday and Christmas presents for family (most souvenirs were $1-3). Then, we'd head back to our room, stow our stuff, and get ready for bed.

One day, we went on a tour to Antalya, which was mostly shopping-based (and I fell in love with a cool leather coat, but it was way too expensive for my small budget). We rode a hour on a boat to a big waterfalls, swam from the boat for about 30 minutes (in our clothes b/c we didn't know to bring bathing suits), and then back to the bus to head back to our hotel.

There were some other interesting things to do in the area which we didn't get to explore b/c of the extreme heat (45'C+ during the day and high humidity) and b/c we were so worn out from a busy summer.

Now, I've finally got everything unpacked and washed and have mostly caught up on missed emails, etc. I have yet to get enough sleep - b/c of persistent computer problems (gotta love that), but hope to settle down into a more healthy schedule soon. I'm praying for a reasonable work-load/schedule for the school-year! As usual, everything happens from lunch until about midnight (the swing-shift) and that means no free time when my friends and the kids I've worked with during the summer are free - which makes it harder to maintain friendships outside of those with whom I am serving...

All in all, it was super to have the chance to vacation in Turkey and to relax mentally and emotionally and get rid of the built-up stress from the hectic spring/summer activities. I'm very thankful for this opportunity!

More adventures in the forest....

Setting up a game...climbing trees!

After an extremely exhausting month working with CESC and literally running out of steam, I wasn't sure whether I should go to the camp for handicapped children (20-25 July) or not, since there would be no time to rest up beforehand.

However, after praying about it, I decided to go ahead and go to the camp, on the promise of just resting the first two days (and for those of you who know me well, you know that I love sleeping in a tent in the forest breathing the fresh piney air much better than sleeping in a bed in a 4-walled room in the dusty city). But, as it turned out, the first day I wasn't able to rest b/c I had to set up the tents for the children in the camp and then take care of other odds and ends until late in the evening. Thankfully, I was able to sleep well and then rest the first part of the day on the 2nd day, before needing to help unexpectedly b/c our pastor who was leading the camp had to leave on short notice.

God provided very nice weather for the camp (which, for those of you who aren't familiar with our overnight camps here - they are all primitive camping - dig our own big toilet, cooking over an open fire for 60+ people, no running water, no building in which to meet if it's raining, etc. - so having nice weather is a big plus). Also, with the help of some new helpers, I was able to set up some fun low ropes course games for the kids, who really enjoyed them.

About 3 days into the camp, several of us ended up with some kind of food poisoning or stomach bug and I was still fighting it a week later (probably from being so exhausted before going to the camp). Due to the food poisoning or whatever it was, we weren't able to set up a zip-line as planned, so instead we set up climbing and rappelling from a tree, which they were excited about just as well. I would really liked to have spent more personal time with the kids, but b/c of being so sick with vomiting and all that, I couldn't. However, a few of the youngest kids (age 10-11) hung around anyway and gave me a big hug when all the campers left on Saturday around mid-day.

I stayed at the camp along with some other helpers from the church until Monday, to help tear down the camp and rest a bit. However, wouldn't you know it, as soon as the kids left and we started taking down the tents, the skies opened up and poured and poured...and kept on pouring (and with a cold wind) until Sunday night. My stomach and intestines were still kicking and screaming, so it was probably a good thing that we were forced to do nothing but hang out and watch the rain... Thankfully, on Monday when the skies cleared up and we had to tear down the camp, God gave me enough strength and health to help the other 4 helpers pack everything up and store it in a barn in the village for our next camp (which starts on 9 August), despite continuing intestinal woes.

So in the end, I am very glad that I went, despite the physical suffering, if for nothing more than to see the joy on the kids faces as they enjoyed the camp (especially the ropes course games we set up) and heard the word (many for the first time). I pray for fruit from this camp and for future opportunities to work with these children.

Weeks in a whirlwind

It has been a very hectic, busy, stressful, exhausting 2 months...

First, I went to visit my Dad's family in the Czech Republic with my parents and aunt and uncle (see first picture - my dad and his cousin look so similar!), and then my parents came to visit me here in Ukraine for a few weeks. It was a really nice time with them and it was too quick! We were busy from morning until night with visits and some repairs (new kitchen cabinets, sink, and plants on the balcony). After seeing them off, I crashed for about a week, still struggling with lack of stamina and strength, post-illness.

Then, I started putting in very long working days planning and preparing for our biggest event, CESC (central european sportslink challenge). This 2+ week event began with a week-long sports ministry training, followed by a week of sports camps (in 4 different countries and 7 different locations). We had 32 people attend from other countries and about 20 or so from Ukraine. The day before the first wave of foreigners arrived, I was already about to collapse with exhaustion. But, thankfully, God gave me the necessary strength to keep going and finish the job, despite even longer working days and less sleep once they arrived. By Monday of this week though, my body was shutting down and I felt woozy and horrible (but not sick sick). After staying home on Tuesday and focusing on the endless administrative work (which I absolutely do NOT enjoy), I felt a little better and was able to finish the week, although I was not able to participate in the daily camps as I would have liked.

Add to that, a continuing series of mishaps and other major sources of stress during the past month, combined with the fact that organizing such events and handling administrative details is not only not my forte, but I'd rather have hives than do this kind of work...and you can get a small glimpse of what my life has been like lately. The biggest bummer was missing out on what I enjoy the most, being in the sports camps working with the kids!!! Next time, I hope that someone else steps up to the plate to do the organizing and administering so that I can do what I am good at and enjoy.

This morning, the last of the participants headed back to their respective homes, and I missed seeing them off in the morning b/c I hit the snooze button one too many times and overslept (for which my body is very grateful). I really hope that their time with us was meaningful, life-changing, and fruitful... It would be super if a at least a few of them decided to come back and spend more time with us.

Today, I'm busy getting things cleaned and re-organized and packing for tomorrow's week-long camp in the forest for handicapped children. As much as I'd like to have a few days at home to just veg and get things cleaned up after our guests left, I am looking forward to sleeping in a tent in the forest, to swimming in a clean lake, and to being able to relax the first two days of camp before needing to set up some low ropes courses and a zip-line. I am praying for two good helpers, since my usual helpers are unavailable and those that I know will be in the camp aren't the kind I'd trust someone's life to at the end of a rope without proper training...

So, the eye of the storm is quickly passing and this coming week will be not much less restful than the past one. But, God willing, the week after that will be free so that I can clean, re-organize, and rest before the last 2 camps of the summer.

Thankfully, it's all in God's capable hands, and just as He sustained and strengthened my during the past 2 months when I thought I couldn't keep going, He will continue to enable me to do what He wants me to do in the future as well.

Fun in the Forest

Saturday, a friend of mine and I got up early (way too early for my tired body) and headed into the forest with a group from a local church for a day of fun and games (which we would lead for them).

At first, I was tentative about missing sleep and being busy all day working b/c my body still hasn't gotten back to it's usual stamina and health...and if I work for an entire day without a break, I usually pay for it for the next several days with lethargy and exhaustion. However, after thinking and praying about it, I decided to go. So, I got together our equipment and we headed out to the nearby forest.

The air was superb, with that lovely fresh-pine scent and clean, clear air and quiet (a definite contrast to the dust and dirt and constant noise of the city). Although other groups soon arrived to share the forest, it wasn't too crowded. We were able to lead a few team-building games and enjoy grilled sausages and sandwiches. The group wasn't the most adept at the games, but they had fun anyway, which was a good thing.

After returning to the city, I quickly washed up and headed out for practice until late in the evening. Another day, more lack of sleep, but recharged and refreshed by being in the midst of God's beautiful creation on a nice, warm, sunny day.

Do you have soul cancer?

I've been struggling lately with some residual soul cancer. "What?," you say. "What is soul cancer?" Well, that's a good question... Soul cancer is anything which continually eats away inside you, sapping all that is good and keeping you from experiencing the full joy of living and loving others. Soul cancer could be jealousy - when many others around you seem to be receiving what you have long desired and you seem to be left out. It could be self-pity, the feeling that you are no one special and have nothing needful to contribute to those around you. It could be bitterness - a doozy of a cancer that is hard to uproot - which grows from a myriad of different seeds, jealousy, pity, longing, disappointment, anger, to name a few. It could be doubt - which causes one to see even good things through pessimistic glasses.

Speaking of disappointment and doubt, they almost always go hand in hand... When one is disappointed in something, especially something precious and longed for, one begins to doubt that good things will ever happen or that God's plans for us are for good and not for harm. Then, armed with these subconscious seeds of doubt, one is disappointed again because one continually expects disappointment rather than fulfillment. This vicious cycle leads to yet more doubt and more disappointment, yielding a crop of negativity, a dour appearance, and heavy heart. It soon prevents one from even enjoying those things which would normally give pleasure and joy, which is not healthy for us or for those around us!

For example, if one is praying for something particular to happen and there appears to be no immediate answer, does this mean that there is no answer? No! What it means is the answer is yet to come, and one must be patient and trust that the prayer was heard and will be answered at the right time. Not only that, it also means that the thing for which we prayed just might not be what is best for us - and if we received what we wanted when we wanted, we'd be let down.

I think in the end, one must face soul cancer for what it really is...a lack of trusting God's ultimate goodness and power in our lives. If one truly believed that God loves unconditionally, is actively working in one's life for good, and cares for one even more than even the best earthly parents could, then when disappointments came, one would understand that the desire one had was not what was best at that particular time and would be content in letting it go and not allowing bitterness or jealousy or doubt to take root and grow. However, that's much easier said than done when one doesn't receive what one desires for a long, long time...

How can one root out this soul cancer? First, by confronting it and realizing what it really is. Second, by refreshing one's memory with truth and in prayer. Third, by learning to be thankful for the blessings one has (which are many more than we usually realize, even for those in difficult circumstances). And finally, by changing our mindset to take hold of the truth of God's love and care for us and trusting that He really does love and care for us and will do what is best for us, despite the fact that we don't deserve it and are far from perfect.

Not everyone would agree with me, especially about God, but I can say from experience that allowing bitterness, envy, doubt, anger, disappointment, self-pity, etc. to linger in one's soul is like ignoring a fast-growing, deadly cancer. It will silently take over and become very difficult to uproot and destroy. But, when one sees the problem for what it is and deals with it right away, the soul cancer goes into remission and we can once again live healthy, happy, whole lives. This is not a once-in-a-lifetime or once-in-a-while treatment. Just as with cancer, it requires learning to have a disciplined, healthy lifestyle, continuing to monitor oneself for signs of cancerous regrowth, and taking things one day at a time.

Painting and Pascha

Well, my adventures have returned, after several months of illness and inactivity. Yesterday, I tried my hand at baking the traditional Ukrainian Easter bread, known as pascha (and it turned out not so badly, if I do say so myself). Then, today, I painted the living room floor with the help of my friend, Myriam, and that was an adventure.

First, in moving out the furniture before painting, we discovered the source of the persistent winter moths that have been plaguing the flat since before my return...they were feasting on a my lovely Arabian wool carpet - which is now well-ventilated and not fit for use. They also made their home in several other carpets and blankets which had been stored under the divan (couch). Sigh...but at least now they know they are no longer welcome and their rich feasting ground has been moved out of my flat! :-)

Second, after a late start due to the unexpected discovery of the moths' home, I ran out of paint only a few minutes into the process...and forgot to paint the baseboards and cut in the corner before I had painted myself out of reach. I ran to the store to get more paint, and they weren't "working" today, however, one worker was still there and he got me what I needed anyway. It turned out the need for more paint was not a bad thing, since I ended up with a much nicer color (lighter and brigher), now that they can custom mix colors. Oh, and apparently I was looking very seriously sporty today b/c the guy asked if I was from Speedway, our local race track! Haha!!!

Third, after coming back with the fresh paint and painting away, I forgot to turn off the MP3 player which is now painted out of reach for the next 24 hours. So, I will have music until the thing runs out of juice... Thankfully, it's not too loud!

Fourth, after finishing everything and not making too big of a mess, I then proceeded to drip paint on the couch (and don't have the paint remover to clean it before it dries), on the hallway floor (which doesn't matter since it will be painted soon anyway and has carpets covering it 24x7. Then, just when I thought I'd made enough of a mess, I tripped on the divan which is blocking the doorway to the kitchen and knocked off the phone (which was precariously perched on it) into the fresh paint - making a mess on the both the floor and the phone (also permanent since I have no paint remover). Oh well, Ive decided to paint the phone receiver something cool, and that will take care of that!

Now, back to baking pascha... First, I forgot to cream the eggs and butter together BEFORE adding it to the yeast proof, even though it was written in my instructions (duh!), so I strained the mix, sort of creamed the solid stuff and mixed it together again. Then, after the appropriate 3 rises, I nearly burned the outside of the loaves, despite having just the lower heating element on, probably b/c I have a convection oven and the 220'C was a bit too hot for it. Then, I ended up underbaking the next two loaves (most likely - I haven't tried them yet) to compensate for the overdone outside. But, in the end, I tried one of the loaves and it was just right - so my worries were for naught.

** Pascha Recipe **
Note: this bread is a very high-rising sweet bread which is traditionally baked on the Thursday before Easter. The higher your loaf rises, the better!

Ingredients:
- 100 g wet yeast or about 1.5 packets of active, dry yeast (if 11g packets)
- 300 g sugar (about 1.5 cups)
- 500 mL milk
- 1-2 kg flour (more than 1 kg, less than 2 - if in North America, use more flour since ours is "drier")
- 10 egg yolks, room temperature
- 150 g butter, softened
- 2 T oil
- 1 t salt
- 200 g raisins
- 1 egg white
- 1 cup sugar
- 2 T vinegar
- multi-colored sprinkles

Instructions:
1. Mix together: yeast, 1 T sugar, 250 mL warm milk, and 2 T flour. Set aside in warm place to proof the yeast.

2. In a separate bowl, cream together: egg yolks, sugar, 1 t. salt, and the remaining milk (250 mL).

3. Add softened butter and oil to the creamed mixture and beat until well-mixed.

4. Add the creamed mixture to proofed yeast and slowly add flour, a little at a time, until a soft dough forms. The dough should be a bit sticky and not stiff. It is more like a roll dough or sweet bread than a regular bread. Do not add too much flour, or the resulting bread will be very dry and inedible.

5. Knead dough for 10-20 minutes with well-greased hands. The dough will be slightly sticky and eventually form a smooth, springy dough (but still sticky).

6. Cover and set dough aside to rest for 2 hours in a warm place, or until more than doubled in size.

7. Knead the dough again for 10 minutes and knead in the raisins. Then, allow dough to rest again for 1-2 hours in a warm place, or until more than doubled in size.

8. Grease well cylindrical pans (or a bundt pan or fluted baking pan). It is good to put a greased piece of parchment paper in the bottom of each pan to keep the pascha from sticking upon removal. Then, put the dough in each pan, to 1/3 of the height of the pan, no higher (the bread will more than triple in height). To ensure that the loaves rise straight, put a piece of uncooked spaghetti in the center of each loaf to stabilize the dough (after baking, remove the spaghetti).

9. Allow the dough to rest again for about 30 minutes in the pans and pre-heat the oven to 220'C.

10. Bake in oven for 10-20 minutes at 220'C, preferably with only the bottom element if possible, then bake for another 20 minutes at 180'C, or until done (when bread becomes lightweight and hollow sounding when tapped). Allow to cool 10 minute before removing from pans.

11. Glaze with icing sugar or the glaze below and sprinkle with multi-colored sprinkles. Serve cool.


Glaze:
1. Combine 1-2 egg whites, 1 cup sugar, and 2 T vinegar in a bowl and mix vigorously (at high speed if you have an electric beater) for about 5-10 minutes, or until soft to medium peaks form.

2. Glaze the top of the loaves and then sprinkle with multi-colored sprinkles.

Happy baking!! :-)