Pandemic or no pandemic? That is the question...

For those of you who have been reading European news, you've probably seen that Ukraine has declared a swine flu pandemic earlier this week. The outbreak began last week, with thousands having been infected already.

To date, there have been about 40+ officially reported deaths from swine flu in several of our western oblasts (provinces) and there is talk about declaring a state of emergency in at least 3 of them soon.

In the meantime, all schools and universities are closed for 3 weeks and all mass gatherings have been banned in order to reduce the rate of transmission. Hospitals and clinics have been temporarily taken over by the government and people are asked to avoid all unnecessary travel from infected oblasts, although so far that has not been enforced.

On the streets, far fewer people are out and about, and many are wearing face masks to protect themselves (or others) against disease (although there is a big question as to how much wearing a mask (not a respirator) really helps protect the wearer, if at all).

There is also talk of closing all small businesses and only allowing essential services and large super-stores to remain open (although in my opinion, that would only exacerbate the problem as that would be congregating large masses of people together, duh!! - I'd opt for leaving the open markets/bazaars open, since fresh air helps prevent the spread of air-borne pathogens).

Additionally, I've heard that pharmacies have run out of vitamins and anti-viral medicines already with everyone rushing to buy them up. In some regions, citrus fruits are now scarce or prices have skyrocketed. People are buying lots of onions, garlic, and lemons to boost immune systems and kill germs (a huge truckload of lemons was shipped to our local super market this week).

But, is it really a swine flu *pandemic*? According to dictionary.com, a pandemic is: occurring over a wide geographic area and affecting an exceptionally high proportion of the population. So far, I'd say that we're not at that stage yet. Yes, we have a crisis, but thankfully so far the percentage of the population effected is not exceptionally high. And compared to neighboring countries, we've been very fortunate so far.

However, that doesn't mean that we should throw all precaution to the wind. Avoiding unnecessary contact with large groups of potentially ill people; boosting one's immune system through a healthy diet, anti-septic foods (such as garlic, onions, etc.), vitamins, lots of warm liquids, salt-baking soda-iodine-water rinses for nose and throat, and getting plenty of sleep; closing schools/universities in order to reduce risk of transmission; and avoiding unnecessary travel to unaffected regions are all great advice to follow...

In the end, common sense and keeping calm go a long way to preventing a crisis from becoming an out-and-out panic.

The umbrella everyone wants...

On Tuesday, on the way to practice, it looked like rain, so I took along my huge yellow and blue striped IKEA umbrella, which just happens to be the exact colours of the Ukrainian flag.

Anyway, there happened to be a concert in the center on Tuesday night and I had to walk through the concert area on the way to/from practice. The streets for several blocks around the center were all closed to motor vehicles and were packed with people enjoying the concert. It was difficult to even walk through the area because of the huge number of people.

On the way home from practice, it was raining, so I opened my patriotic-themed umbrella to protect myself and my friend from the rain, little realizing the rapt attention it would soon bring.

As we pushed our way through the celebratory crowd, everyone was staring at my umbrella and commenting on how cool it was. Several yelled out to ask if they could take a picture with it and one guy even tried to grab it from me, but I pushed his arm away. All the way home, all the bystanders kept talking about the umbrella, envying it, and wishing it was theirs...

Now, don't you wish you had such a cool, patriotic umbrella, the envy of everyone in your city?! (and just imagine if we had a bunch of these, we could make enough to support our camps and take care of gym rental and more) ;-)

Rude is a cultural thing...

Yesterday, I received a somewhat rude 1-line email response to a work-related question from someone whom I am not acquainted with, but who works in my organization in a different country. I was rather unpleasantly surprised at the reply and without going into any details, it implied that I was stupid, and it didn't answer my question at all. In fact, the response showed that the writer was ignorant of the facts.

As I thought about how best to respond in order to clarify things (and don't worry, I didn't even address the rudeness issue), I thought about how often I receive unwarranted rude or harsh emails out of the blue from particular cultures (most often Germanic or American) or sub-cultures (most often IT or elderly).

Now, while it is certainly true that what is polite in one culture may be rude in another culture and visa versa, I wonder just how much of a global communication culture (especially email) we actually have acquired and what is generally considered universally rude...

Anyway, without having satisfied that particular question, at least I can try to write in a culturally-sensitive, polite manner (to the best of my knowledge) and not use ALL CAPITAL LETTERS (which is considered yelling in email) and not imply that someone is stupid.

Gotta love this world... ;-)

Waylaid for a week in Warsaw

7 days, 6 fresh bulichkyi, 5 different hostels, 4 new sights, 3 lessons learned, 2 sore legs, and 1 unexpected adventure!

I've just spent an unexpected week in Warsaw, waylaid by red tape...and as usual, I don't ever need to seek out adventure, it always has a way of finding me no matter how hard I try to hide! ;-)

On a Tuesday evening, I traveled by overnight train to Warsaw to apply for a new visa to continue to live here, expecting to arrive on Wednesday morning, go to the consulate, receive a new visa, and return home on the evening train (as has been my previous experience). So, I didn't take anything extra with me except for a change of undies (thankfully!).

The adventures began on the train... I was assigned a lower berth in a compartment alone with a very creepy young man. I had been praying that God would protect me whilst traveling alone - and He soon answered in an interesting way. About 5 minutes after the train left the station, the conductor came 'round and asked if I'd be willing to move to the next compartment b/c she needed a place with 3 berths together for a family. I said, "sure, no problem," and moved to an upper berth in the next compartment. As it turned out, there was a very nice girl and an older man already in the compartment (which was much, much safer than the creepy young man). A few minutes later, the conductor came by again to say that I could return to my original berth b/c she didn't need the spaces anymore. But, not wanting to be stuck with a creepy guy, I asked to stay in the new berth and thankfully, she agreed.

The next morning (Wednesday), the adventures continued with almost a 2 hour delay. I was worried that I'd be too late to get to the consulate in time to get everything done since they were only open until noon. As it turned out, there was no need to worry about being in time... After asking a nice old lady about which tram to take to the consulate (the one listed on their site no longer exists), I arrived at the consulate, only to find out that as of the 1st of August, it is CLOSED on Wednesdays! Story of my life...

Well, I figured that wasn't a problem since I had written down the names and addresses of several youth hostels and could easily spend the night and then leave on the afternoon train the next day.

I easily found the hostel, arranged for a bed, left my bag at the reception desk, and wandered around Warsaw looking for something new to see (since I've been in Warsaw more than a dozen times and seen most of what there is to see within walking distance of the central train station).

The next morning, I got up before the crack of dawn and was waiting in front of the consulate by 7 AM, barely being the 1st in line. By 8:30 AM, the line had grown to about 15 people, and then the door buzzed and I unsuccessfully tried to pull it open, not realizing that it was a "push" door (LOL).

I handed in my documents and passport, and then received a great shock... The lady asked why I was in Poland. I replied "to apply for a new visa" and she then said that they only give visas to Polish citizens or people who work in Poland and I must go to the US to apply for a visa. What?! This was something new... Every year I have applied for and received a visa in various countries other than the US. I won't go into our discussion about where my visas came from (NOT from the US according to the visas, and the opposite according to her). So, I opened my mouth, and out came, "but I opened a visa here in 2006" - and "if I had only known before, I just didn't know!" - God gave wisdom not to contradict what she had said, yet still tell the truth, and to be a clueless person (which I really was).

Thankfully, after that, she agreed to give the visa just this once, but next time I must travel to the US to apply. Then, she said that the visa would be ready next Thursday the 24th (8 days from that day). I gasped again with shock and asked if there was any possible way to get it done sooner b/c I had always been able to get it that same day. Perhaps I could pay more money or ??? And the response was that they were too busy and couldn't do it any faster and the price was the same regardless. Well, I knew I had a camp starting on the next Wednesday morning and I was in charge of the games, so I really couldn't miss it. So, I explained the situation and begged for it to possibly be ready a bit sooner. Then, she agreed to give it to me on Wednesday, when they were closed, and asked when my flight was. I explained that I was traveling by train and that I really, really needed to leave on the 22nd b/c the camp started on the 23rd int he morning... Thankfully, in the end, she agreed to have it ready for me on Tuesday so that I could arrive a few hours before the camp started.

Relieved, and yet still slightly panicked, I left the consulate and thought and prayed about what to do. The thought of being stuck totally alone in Warsaw without anything to do scared me b/c I really don't do well with enforced solitude - especially without having brought something interesting to do. But, after the initial panic and trying to find a way to visit one of my friends who lives not too far from Poland (they were all away that weekend), I realized that I didn't have enough money to travel somewhere and that I'd have to stay in Warsaw by my self...with nothing to do!

But, praise God, the weather was super all week long and I was able to find enough to do to keep from going crazy with boredom. I had to do a bit of shopping (since 3-4 days in the same clothes day and night was making me look and smell rather like a bum), and that even turned out to be a blessing b/c I didn't need to rush (I hate shopping, but when it is required I like to take my time and not rush so as not to regret what I've bought). It also was a blessing b/c I was able to find excellent quality clothes for the same or cheaper prices than at home...

I also was able to go biking, find new parks, listen to a free outdoor Chopin concert, and most of all, relax mentally and spiritually during this enforced time away from work and friends. Although I didn't get much physical rest (from not sleeping well in the noisy hostels and having to be outside all day while the hostels were closed for cleaning, etc., and walking many kilometers in dress shoes on painful, swollen legs, etc.), I found it a surprisingly enjoyable week, despite the enforced solitude!

So, I am very thankful for answered prayers and for receiving the visa in the end, despite the many unforeseen obstacles. I am thankful for super weather and the chance to go biking (which really helped my legs heal quickly). I am thankful for safe travels and relatively inexpensive places to stay, despite the noise or not-so-ideal conditions. I am very thankful for my parent's financial help and for finding some nice clothes that fit and are good quality. And I am thankful for the extra time in the Word and prayer which I wouldn't have had had I been back home and in the midst of planning and preparations for the camp and other ministries... And most of all, I am thankful to be back and to have another year without needing to apply for a visa! :-)

Can one be fashionably modest in a world where dressing like a hooker is the status quo?

So, can one be fashionably modest in a world where dressing like a hooker is the status quo? Is it even possible to be fashionable and modest at the same time? And what exactly is modest?

So, first of all, just what is the definition of modesty?
From dictionary.com, "modesty" is:
1. the quality of being modest; freedom from vanity, boastfulness, etc.
2. regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc.
3. simplicity; moderation.

And from the American Heritage dictionary:
1. The state or quality of being modest.
2. Reserve or propriety in speech, dress, or behavior.
3. Lack of pretentiousness; simplicity.

The word first made it's appearance in the English language in 1531, and meant "freedom from exaggeration, self-control." It was used again in 1553 as meaning "having a moderate opinion of oneself."

I find it very interesting that the main focus is on humility, simplicity, self-control, and moderation.

Now, for everyone there is a slightly different definition of modesty as regards clothing, how much is too much and what can/can't be shown. However, I think that modesty isn't about conforming to a strict set of rules of how many centimeters a hemline should be (although that can be a helpful guideline at first), but rather modesty is a state of the heart... And when one is truly modest at heart, one doesn't need measurement rules to decide what is or isn't modest, one understands how to dress in a way that is nice (and I mean that in multiple senses of the word).
(Note: links to modest, modern clothing sites are at the bottom of this post)

In my opinion, a modest woman is someone who isn't focused on attracting men sexually. Rather, she is confident in herself, humble, and concerned more about the needs of those around her than about pleasing herself. She understands the beauty of mystery and doesn't want to make it hard for others to stay pure mentally or physically. She exhibits a calm, peaceful spirit and appropriate reserve (meaning not just in her appearance, but in her behavior as well). Now, modesty doesn't mean being an invisible wall-flower (have you ever seen a confident wall-flower?), but it certainly doesn't mean being a loud, brash, flashy woman who doesn't know how to behave appropriately. In earlier times, a brash, uncontrolled woman would have been labeled uncouth or uncultured (and that's putting it nicely); however, in today's backwards view of reality, she is held up as an ideal for young woman to aspire to...

So, how can one dress modestly and yet still be modern and attractive (and I use attractive in the sense not meaning to draw overt attention to oneself, but meaning to dress in a way which is feminine and not frumpy or sloppy)? Until recently, it had become very difficult, if not impossible, to find modest, yet attractive, modern clothing in major retail stores. Thanks to a recent trend for longer length tops, it is becoming just slightly easier. But, is it really possible to attempt to dress in a modest, attractive manner and not be tainted by the overwhelming fashion trend of low necklines, high hemlines, thongs, see-through tops, ultra low-rise jeans, bare bellies (can anyone say puffy muffin top?)? I believe that it is...but that it takes a LOT of work and persistence.

I sometimes find it rather discouraging to constantly be surrounded by stick-thin, skimpily dressed girls (where a size 40/44 (6/8 US) is an "XXL" and it's often hard to even find that size in the local shops). There are also times when I feel unfashionable, and yet to give in to the self-appointed fashion gurus and wear tight, revealing, spangle-encrusted clothing is not an option. So, what to do? How to dress in a way that doesn't compromise modesty, but is fashionable and modern at the same time? I'd have to be the first to admit, that I'm still learning...

I think that this requires becoming an expert shopper, knowing what styles are going to work for your body, and hunting those down. It also means being very creative, often altering items or putting together items that weren't originally meant to go together. And, it means spending a lot of time trying everything on, subjecting it to the test of movement (sitting, bending all the way over, slouching, raising one's arms, etc.), and only purchasing what doesn't show parts that aren't supposed to show. And sometimes, much to my chagrin, it means sewing something from scratch because nothing in the stores quite works for a particular occasion (or is way too expensive to consider - and speaking of too expensive, did you ever wonder why expensive clothing is usually modest as a rule and the affordable clothing bracket is where it's much harder to find modest options?? - think about it).

My shopping goal (and I want to mention now that I really, really HATE shopping - I'd rather clean a toilet with a toothbrush or watch professional bowling (which btw, is super-boring if you've never watched before - will it be a strike or only a spare?! oooh!)) is to come away with wardrobe pieces which fit, flatter, function, and feel good - and are classy enough to outlast the expiration date on my credit card. Meeting this goal is not easy, but it is slowly becoming more doable... Yet, I often come away from a shopping trip with little or nothing to show for it and a huge amount of frustration at the lack of available attractively modest clothing. When frustrated at the lack of options, I don't advocate throwing femininity to the wind and only dressing in boxy t-shirts and jeans or baggy shorts/skirts and thinking that it's a valid solution to the modesty problem. To be quite honest, I think that's a cop-out and not only not very feminine, but it also prevents one from being able to say something to young girls about being more modest and being heard (I mean think about it - would you at age 12 have listened to fashion advice from someone whom you thought dressed like a total frump? Unless you're very unique, I don't think so.).

I do think it's important for women who want to dress modestly to also make the extra effort to dress in a way which is also feminine and pretty. <<"Gasp!" I can't believe I just wrote that - this coming from someone who's entire wardrobe at one point in her life consisted of baggy shorts and over-sized, manly t-shirts b/c I didn't feel attractive and didn't know how to look nice and yet still be comfortable and be able to move freely (and I'm still learning that one). Oh, and I still got more than enough of whistles and yells on the streets in my baggy days, even more so than when dressing more femininely and fashionably, go figure!>>

But, before you jump to any conclusions, I'm not advocating focusing one's time and attention on primping or trying to look stunning to attract the opposite sex. In fact, I advocate just the opposite. However, I do think that when one is buying clothing (which one must do from time to time), that one should put in the effort it takes to purchase nice, classy, fashionable items, instead of just taking a few seconds to pick up a plain 'ole t-shirt and calling it a day (and even a t-shirt can be something more if it's cut well, embellished, and of a more feminine design). Going back to the definition of modesty, it's more about simplicity and avoiding extremes and displays of vanity (and I'd have to say that in my opinion, some of the manly t-shirt, long skirt-wearing advocates are rather extreme in their dress, which interestingly enough, bucks the very definition of modesty). So, onward and upward - where is this rambling of thoughts going??

To conclude my venting about modesty, I discovered something interesting recently. There is a whole new internet-based shopping trend -- a handful of sites where one can purchase ready-made clothing which is modest and reasonably fashionable. Some of the sites have higher prices and cater more to the boutique crowd, while others have more reasonable prices and cater more to the mass consumer. Here are the links to some of those on-line shops, in no particular order (disclaimer: I do not personally endorse any of these links, nor am I responsible for the contents of any of these links, and be aware that some of these sites support religious views which differ from mine):

• Tailored Lilly - "modest, modern apparel" (www.tailoredlilly.com) - nice dresses and other clothing, $-$$


• Layers Clothing (www.layersclothing.com) - fun tops and swimsuits, $-$$


• Modbe Clothing - "all about you, your body, your fit and style!" (www.modbeclothing.com) - great jeans (and all-around clothing)!, $$


• Apricot Apparel - "keeping you covered in style" (www.apricotapparel.com) - great layering pieces, $


• Divine Modestee (diviinemodestee.com) - nice layering pieces, dresses, and swimwear, $-$$


• Funky Frum - "stylish, modern clothing for modern women" (www.funkyfrum.com) - trendy, modest clothing, $$


• Mikarose (www.mikarose.com) - cool dresses and tops, $$


• Sakura Rose (www.sakurarose.com) - nice variety of clothing and jewelry, $-$$


• Sierra Brooke - "modern, stylish clothes and dresses for women and girls" (www.sierrabrooke.com) - hip clothing, $-$$


• Shade Clothing (www.shadeclothing.com) - huge selection of basics, $-$$


• Christa Taylor - "pioneering a modest clothing revolution (www.christa-taylor.com) - cool, funky styles, $$$


• Lime Ricki - "for the latest in hip, funky {modest} swimwear" (www.limericki.com) $$-$$$


• Shabby Apple (www.shabbyapple.com) - chic dresses, $$$


• Jen Clothing (www.jenclothing.com) - focus on dresses, $$$-$$$$


• Modest Wedding Dresses & Gowns - absolutely gorgeous dresses, $$$$


• Paulina Carmel - "comfort, style, modesty" (www.paulinacarmel.com) - very small selection, $-$$


• Mia Bellina (www.miabellina.com) - tons of tops (note: some of the models are not modest), $


• Be Precious - "be pure, be stylish" (www.bepreciousclothing.com) - mostly simple tops and skirts, $$


• Upstream Girl - "don't go with the flow, go upstream" (www.upstreamgirl.com) - decent clothing for girls, $$


• Modest Clothes Index (www.modestclothes.com) - links to more modest clothing sites, some modern, some not

(site price guide: $ - most items less than $20, $$ - most items $20-$40, $$$ - most items $40-60, $$$$ - most items more than $60)

Or you can just Google "modest women's clothing" and see for yourself what you can find...

Fun in Beldibi, Turkey!

I just got back from a 9-day get-away to hot, humid, but beautiful Beldibi, Turkey with my friend, Esther. It was a very relaxing trip, despite losing 2 nights of sleep on both ends b/c of traveling through the night.

The location was super! The town is a small, quiet place nestled between rugged mountains and the crystal-clear blue/green Mediterranean sea. Our hotel was in the first line, meaning nothing between it and the beach (except for some trees and a wall). The hotel was fine - nothing fancy, but clean and with a good, working air-conditioner! The food was excellent - lots of fresh vegetables, fruit, grilled meats, and interesting Turkish-style desserts each day. Everything was included in the price, so it was eat-all-you-can and free drinks.

We went swimming each morning after early breakfast until lunch time, then after lunch, during the hot hours (11-15) we hung out in our room and played games or read or watched a movie. Then, we went out again around 15:00 for more swimming and relaxing on the beach until the sun went behind the mountains just before dinner (19:00). We'd shower and change for dinner and if we arrived too early, we'd play a round of Yatzee or Cheater to pass the time. After dinner, we'd walk up and down the main street looking for cheap souvenirs and trying not to get annoyed at the vendors' constant hassling us. We found some great bargains and were able to get affordable birthday and Christmas presents for family (most souvenirs were $1-3). Then, we'd head back to our room, stow our stuff, and get ready for bed.

One day, we went on a tour to Antalya, which was mostly shopping-based (and I fell in love with a cool leather coat, but it was way too expensive for my small budget). We rode a hour on a boat to a big waterfalls, swam from the boat for about 30 minutes (in our clothes b/c we didn't know to bring bathing suits), and then back to the bus to head back to our hotel.

There were some other interesting things to do in the area which we didn't get to explore b/c of the extreme heat (45'C+ during the day and high humidity) and b/c we were so worn out from a busy summer.

Now, I've finally got everything unpacked and washed and have mostly caught up on missed emails, etc. I have yet to get enough sleep - b/c of persistent computer problems (gotta love that), but hope to settle down into a more healthy schedule soon. I'm praying for a reasonable work-load/schedule for the school-year! As usual, everything happens from lunch until about midnight (the swing-shift) and that means no free time when my friends and the kids I've worked with during the summer are free - which makes it harder to maintain friendships outside of those with whom I am serving...

All in all, it was super to have the chance to vacation in Turkey and to relax mentally and emotionally and get rid of the built-up stress from the hectic spring/summer activities. I'm very thankful for this opportunity!

More adventures in the forest....

After an extremely exhausting month working with CESC and literally running out of steam, I wasn't sure whether I should go to the camp for handicapped children (20-25 July) or not, since there would be no time to rest up beforehand.

However, after praying about it, I decided to go ahead and go to the camp, on the promise of just resting the first two days (and for those of you who know me well, you know that I love sleeping in a tent in the forest breathing the fresh piney air much better than sleeping in a bed in a 4-walled room in the dusty city). But, as it turned out, the first day I wasn't able to rest b/c I had to set up the tents for the children in the camp and then take care of other odds and ends until late in the evening. Thankfully, I was able to sleep well and then rest the first part of the day on the 2nd day, before needing to help unexpectedly b/c our pastor who was leading the camp had to leave on short notice.

God provided very nice weather for the camp (which, for those of you who aren't familiar with our overnight camps here - they are all primitive camping - dig our own big toilet, cooking over an open fire for 60+ people, no running water, no building in which to meet if it's raining, etc. - so having nice weather is a big plus). Also, with the help of some new helpers, I was able to set up some fun low ropes course games for the kids, who really enjoyed them.

About 3 days into the camp, several of us ended up with some kind of food poisoning or stomach bug and I was still fighting it a week later (probably from being so exhausted before going to the camp). Due to the food poisoning or whatever it was, we weren't able to set up a zip-line as planned, so instead we set up climbing and rappelling from a tree, which they were excited about just as well. I would really liked to have spent more personal time with the kids, but b/c of being so sick with vomiting and all that, I couldn't. However, a few of the youngest kids (age 10-11) hung around anyway and gave me a big hug when all the campers left on Saturday around mid-day.

I stayed at the camp along with some other helpers from the church until Monday, to help tear down the camp and rest a bit. However, wouldn't you know it, as soon as the kids left and we started taking down the tents, the skies opened up and poured and poured...and kept on pouring (and with a cold wind) until Sunday night. My stomach and intestines were still kicking and screaming, so it was probably a good thing that we were forced to do nothing but hang out and watch the rain... Thankfully, on Monday when the skies cleared up and we had to tear down the camp, God gave me enough strength and health to help the other 4 helpers pack everything up and store it in a barn in the village for our next camp (which starts on 9 August), despite continuing intestinal woes.

So in the end, I am very glad that I went, despite the physical suffering, if for nothing more than to see the joy on the kids faces as they enjoyed the camp (especially the ropes course games we set up) and heard the word (many for the first time). I pray for fruit from this camp and for future opportunities to work with these children.

Weeks in a whirlwind

It has been a very hectic, busy, stressful, exhausting 2 months...

First, I went to visit my Dad's family in the Czech Republic with my parents and aunt and uncle (see first picture - my dad and his cousin look so similar!), and then my parents came to visit me here in Ukraine for a few weeks. It was a really nice time with them and it was too quick! We were busy from morning until night with visits and some repairs (new kitchen cabinets, sink, and plants on the balcony). After seeing them off, I crashed for about a week, still struggling with lack of stamina and strength, post-illness.

Then, I started putting in very long working days planning and preparing for our biggest event, CESC (central european sportslink challenge). This 2+ week event began with a week-long sports ministry training, followed by a week of sports camps (in 4 different countries and 7 different locations). We had 32 people attend from other countries and about 20 or so from Ukraine. The day before the first wave of foreigners arrived, I was already about to collapse with exhaustion. But, thankfully, God gave me the necessary strength to keep going and finish the job, despite even longer working days and less sleep once they arrived. By Monday of this week though, my body was shutting down and I felt woozy and horrible (but not sick sick). After staying home on Tuesday and focusing on the endless administrative work (which I absolutely do NOT enjoy), I felt a little better and was able to finish the week, although I was not able to participate in the daily camps as I would have liked.

Add to that, a continuing series of mishaps and other major sources of stress during the past month, combined with the fact that organizing such events and handling administrative details is not only not my forte, but I'd rather have hives than do this kind of work...and you can get a small glimpse of what my life has been like lately. The biggest bummer was missing out on what I enjoy the most, being in the sports camps working with the kids!!! Next time, I hope that someone else steps up to the plate to do the organizing and administering so that I can do what I am good at and enjoy.

This morning, the last of the participants headed back to their respective homes, and I missed seeing them off in the morning b/c I hit the snooze button one too many times and overslept (for which my body is very grateful). I really hope that their time with us was meaningful, life-changing, and fruitful... It would be super if a at least a few of them decided to come back and spend more time with us.

Today, I'm busy getting things cleaned and re-organized and packing for tomorrow's week-long camp in the forest for handicapped children. As much as I'd like to have a few days at home to just veg and get things cleaned up after our guests left, I am looking forward to sleeping in a tent in the forest, to swimming in a clean lake, and to being able to relax the first two days of camp before needing to set up some low ropes courses and a zip-line. I am praying for two good helpers, since my usual helpers are unavailable and those that I know will be in the camp aren't the kind I'd trust someone's life to at the end of a rope without proper training...

So, the eye of the storm is quickly passing and this coming week will be not much less restful than the past one. But, God willing, the week after that will be free so that I can clean, re-organize, and rest before the last 2 camps of the summer.

Thankfully, it's all in God's capable hands, and just as He sustained and strengthened my during the past 2 months when I thought I couldn't keep going, He will continue to enable me to do what He wants me to do in the future as well.

Fun in the Forest

Saturday, a friend of mine and I got up early (way too early for my tired body) and headed into the forest with a group from a local church for a day of fun and games (which we would lead for them).

At first, I was tentative about missing sleep and being busy all day working b/c my body still hasn't gotten back to it's usual stamina and health...and if I work for an entire day without a break, I usually pay for it for the next several days with lethargy and exhaustion. However, after thinking and praying about it, I decided to go. So, I got together our equipment and we headed out to the nearby forest.

The air was superb, with that lovely fresh-pine scent and clean, clear air and quiet (a definite contrast to the dust and dirt and constant noise of the city). Although other groups soon arrived to share the forest, it wasn't too crowded. We were able to lead a few team-building games and enjoy grilled sausages and sandwiches. The group wasn't the most adept at the games, but they had fun anyway, which was a good thing.

After returning to the city, I quickly washed up and headed out for practice until late in the evening. Another day, more lack of sleep, but recharged and refreshed by being in the midst of God's beautiful creation on a nice, warm, sunny day.

Do you have soul cancer?

I've been struggling lately with some residual soul cancer. "What?," you say. "What is soul cancer?" Well, that's a good question... Soul cancer is anything which continually eats away inside you, sapping all that is good and keeping you from experiencing the full joy of living and loving others. Soul cancer could be jealousy - when many others around you seem to be receiving what you have long desired and you seem to be left out. It could be self-pity, the feeling that you are no one special and have nothing needful to contribute to those around you. It could be bitterness - a doozy of a cancer that is hard to uproot - which grows from a myriad of different seeds, jealousy, pity, longing, disappointment, anger, to name a few. It could be doubt - which causes one to see even good things through pessimistic glasses.

Speaking of disappointment and doubt, they almost always go hand in hand... When one is disappointed in something, especially something precious and longed for, one begins to doubt that good things will ever happen or that God's plans for us are for good and not for harm. Then, armed with these subconscious seeds of doubt, one is disappointed again because one continually expects disappointment rather than fulfillment. This vicious cycle leads to yet more doubt and more disappointment, yielding a crop of negativity, a dour appearance, and heavy heart. It soon prevents one from even enjoying those things which would normally give pleasure and joy, which is not healthy for us or for those around us!

For example, if one is praying for something particular to happen and there appears to be no immediate answer, does this mean that there is no answer? No! What it means is the answer is yet to come, and one must be patient and trust that the prayer was heard and will be answered at the right time. Not only that, it also means that the thing for which we prayed just might not be what is best for us - and if we received what we wanted when we wanted, we'd be let down.

I think in the end, one must face soul cancer for what it really is...a lack of trusting God's ultimate goodness and power in our lives. If one truly believed that God loves unconditionally, is actively working in one's life for good, and cares for one even more than even the best earthly parents could, then when disappointments came, one would understand that the desire one had was not what was best at that particular time and would be content in letting it go and not allowing bitterness or jealousy or doubt to take root and grow. However, that's much easier said than done when one doesn't receive what one desires for a long, long time...

How can one root out this soul cancer? First, by confronting it and realizing what it really is. Second, by refreshing one's memory with truth and in prayer. Third, by learning to be thankful for the blessings one has (which are many more than we usually realize, even for those in difficult circumstances). And finally, by changing our mindset to take hold of the truth of God's love and care for us and trusting that He really does love and care for us and will do what is best for us, despite the fact that we don't deserve it and are far from perfect.

Not everyone would agree with me, especially about God, but I can say from experience that allowing bitterness, envy, doubt, anger, disappointment, self-pity, etc. to linger in one's soul is like ignoring a fast-growing, deadly cancer. It will silently take over and become very difficult to uproot and destroy. But, when one sees the problem for what it is and deals with it right away, the soul cancer goes into remission and we can once again live healthy, happy, whole lives. This is not a once-in-a-lifetime or once-in-a-while treatment. Just as with cancer, it requires learning to have a disciplined, healthy lifestyle, continuing to monitor oneself for signs of cancerous regrowth, and taking things one day at a time.

Painting and Pascha

Well, my adventures have returned, after several months of illness and inactivity. Yesterday, I tried my hand at baking the traditional Ukrainian Easter bread, known as pascha (and it turned out not so badly, if I do say so myself). Then, today, I painted the living room floor with the help of my friend, Myriam, and that was an adventure.

First, in moving out the furniture before painting, we discovered the source of the persistent winter moths that have been plaguing the flat since before my return...they were feasting on a my lovely Arabian wool carpet - which is now well-ventilated and not fit for use. They also made their home in several other carpets and blankets which had been stored under the divan (couch). Sigh...but at least now they know they are no longer welcome and their rich feasting ground has been moved out of my flat! :-)

Second, after a late start due to the unexpected discovery of the moths' home, I ran out of paint only a few minutes into the process...and forgot to paint the baseboards and cut in the corner before I had painted myself out of reach. I ran to the store to get more paint, and they weren't "working" today, however, one worker was still there and he got me what I needed anyway. It turned out the need for more paint was not a bad thing, since I ended up with a much nicer color (lighter and brigher), now that they can custom mix colors. Oh, and apparently I was looking very seriously sporty today b/c the guy asked if I was from Speedway, our local race track! Haha!!!

Third, after coming back with the fresh paint and painting away, I forgot to turn off the MP3 player which is now painted out of reach for the next 24 hours. So, I will have music until the thing runs out of juice... Thankfully, it's not too loud!

Fourth, after finishing everything and not making too big of a mess, I then proceeded to drip paint on the couch (and don't have the paint remover to clean it before it dries), on the hallway floor (which doesn't matter since it will be painted soon anyway and has carpets covering it 24x7. Then, just when I thought I'd made enough of a mess, I tripped on the divan which is blocking the doorway to the kitchen and knocked off the phone (which was precariously perched on it) into the fresh paint - making a mess on the both the floor and the phone (also permanent since I have no paint remover). Oh well, Ive decided to paint the phone receiver something cool, and that will take care of that!

Now, back to baking pascha... First, I forgot to cream the eggs and butter together BEFORE adding it to the yeast proof, even though it was written in my instructions (duh!), so I strained the mix, sort of creamed the solid stuff and mixed it together again. Then, after the appropriate 3 rises, I nearly burned the outside of the loaves, despite having just the lower heating element on, probably b/c I have a convection oven and the 220'C was a bit too hot for it. Then, I ended up underbaking the next two loaves (most likely - I haven't tried them yet) to compensate for the overdone outside. But, in the end, I tried one of the loaves and it was just right - so my worries were for naught.

** Pascha Recipe **
Note: this bread is a very high-rising sweet bread which is traditionally baked on the Thursday before Easter. The higher your loaf rises, the better!

Ingredients:
- 100 g wet yeast or about 1.5 packets of active, dry yeast (if 11g packets)
- 300 g sugar (about 1.5 cups)
- 500 mL milk
- 1-2 kg flour (more than 1 kg, less than 2 - if in North America, use more flour since ours is "drier")
- 10 egg yolks, room temperature
- 150 g butter, softened
- 2 T oil
- 1 t salt
- 200 g raisins
- 1 egg white
- 1 cup sugar
- 2 T vinegar
- multi-colored sprinkles

Instructions:
1. Mix together: yeast, 1 T sugar, 250 mL warm milk, and 2 T flour. Set aside in warm place to proof the yeast.

2. In a separate bowl, cream together: egg yolks, sugar, 1 t. salt, and the remaining milk (250 mL).

3. Add softened butter and oil to the creamed mixture and beat until well-mixed.

4. Add the creamed mixture to proofed yeast and slowly add flour, a little at a time, until a soft dough forms. The dough should be a bit sticky and not stiff. It is more like a roll dough or sweet bread than a regular bread. Do not add too much flour, or the resulting bread will be very dry and inedible.

5. Knead dough for 10-20 minutes with well-greased hands. The dough will be slightly sticky and eventually form a smooth, springy dough (but still sticky).

6. Cover and set dough aside to rest for 2 hours in a warm place, or until more than doubled in size.

7. Knead the dough again for 10 minutes and knead in the raisins. Then, allow dough to rest again for 1-2 hours in a warm place, or until more than doubled in size.

8. Grease well cylindrical pans (or a bundt pan or fluted baking pan). It is good to put a greased piece of parchment paper in the bottom of each pan to keep the pascha from sticking upon removal. Then, put the dough in each pan, to 1/3 of the height of the pan, no higher (the bread will more than triple in height). To ensure that the loaves rise straight, put a piece of uncooked spaghetti in the center of each loaf to stabilize the dough (after baking, remove the spaghetti).

9. Allow the dough to rest again for about 30 minutes in the pans and pre-heat the oven to 220'C.

10. Bake in oven for 10-20 minutes at 220'C, preferably with only the bottom element if possible, then bake for another 20 minutes at 180'C, or until done (when bread becomes lightweight and hollow sounding when tapped). Allow to cool 10 minute before removing from pans.

11. Glaze with icing sugar or the glaze below and sprinkle with multi-colored sprinkles. Serve cool.


Glaze:
1. Combine 1-2 egg whites, 1 cup sugar, and 2 T vinegar in a bowl and mix vigorously (at high speed if you have an electric beater) for about 5-10 minutes, or until soft to medium peaks form.

2. Glaze the top of the loaves and then sprinkle with multi-colored sprinkles.

Happy baking!! :-)

Different points of view...

Being really sick for the past 3 months hasn't been any fun...and mostly it's been very BORING, frustrating, and difficult. Without any family support nearby, it's 100 times more difficult than usual.

What I find very interesting is the view of some of my friends that taking care of ones' self while one is sick is really very easy and not any work at all. Cooking, cleaning, taking care of guests, repairing frequently unexpectedly broken things - these are all somehow considered totally resting?! What makes this point of view even more interesting to me is that those who have this mindset have family who can take care of them when they're sick. So, yes, while it is definitely not as hard to take care of only ones' self as it is to take care of others as well as ones' self while sick, it still is not at all easy to care for oneself and one's living quarters while one is really sick and needs to rest in order to get well again. I certainly don't like being sick and dependent (who does?), but I haven't suddenly become well again - especially when I'm constantly expending energy cooking, cleaning, and repairing things each day instead of resting and getting better. Some days it takes all the energy I have to just get out of bed and drag myself to the couch, and standing up is a real effort, let alone doing anything else. So, on those days, I just eat whatever is at hand (like bread or yogurt) without any cooking or preparation and try not to let the mess in the flat bother me.

Since I don't often outwardly show that I am sick, most people have no clue about how bad I am really feeling, even if I try to explain it to them (words just aren't as powerful as an awful-looking face). I understand how hard it is to be compassionate towards others, especially if you can't really see or feel how they're feeling. So, I don't hold it against anyone when they don't understand and expect me to wait on them hand and foot even until late at night. This just makes me far more appreciative of the few friends I have that have been understanding and helpful during my 3 month-long illness.

I am very, very grateful to a small handful of friends in particular who have recently been taking some care of me by bringing me food, cooking for me, and cleaning up afterwards when they come to visit instead of expecting me to wait on them, much as I'd have liked to (thanks especially to Alyosha, Vova, & Esther for this weekend's cooking/cleaning, and to Dima & Anya for taking me to the hospital!).

Just having people be compassionate and understanding is a huge encouragement in the midst of illness when it's very easy to become down or discouraged about not getting better or from hearing too many insensitive comments. I must constantly ask God to help me not become disheartened by being sick or from uncompassionate friends. For in the end, it's only His grace and help that can bring me joy and lift my spirits when I'm feeling useless and exhausted day after day. And when He chooses to reveal His love and care for me through friends from time to time, it's like icing on the cake... I hope that someday I can return the favor to my friends and be caring and compassionate when they're ill or feeling down. It truly is a joy to help others!

Under the microscope...and in a pressure cooker!

Many times in my life I feel like I am living under a microscope of people's scrutiny, resulting at in times overwhelming pressure and stress.

At such times I feel that everything I do, don't do, say, don't say, think, don't think, wear, don't wear is judged by the unwritten, unvoiced expectations of others (and expectations which they hold higher for me than for themselves or others like them). This often happened in school or work mostly because of my faith or my heritage/culture being different from others. Also, after moving to a new place it happens - but mostly before people come to know and love and accept one for who one is.

I find that it is still often this way for me, even with people I've known for several years. Every time they or someone new come for a visit, I feel enormous pressure to meet their unknown expectations, no matter how I may have "wowed" them in the past with my cooking or cleaning or other "abilities" to be "normal" and up to par as a hostess in their eyes. I am so tired of feeling this pressure and trying to live up to unknown expectations. Partly, it is a pressure I put on myself, because I care what my friends think about me and want to please them and make things comfortable for them when they visit. But partly, it is a real pressure because my guests very often judge me and comment on what I do or don't do, according to their unvoiced expectations and whether I measure up. So, there is real judgment (not necessarily condemnation) every time people come for a visit, comparing me to their ideas of what is considered normal. If I tried to please everyone all the time, I'd go crazy trying to "prove" myself when so many people have different ideas of normal and what is expected anyway (and if the expectations are not voiced, one can't try to measure up very successfully).

Which brings me to an important point... In the end, trying to please others is a dead-end road filled with stress, pressure, and needless worry. I believe that if someone truly is a real friend, then that friendship is unconditional, not based on performance (past, present, or future). But, oh how rare is true friendship, if it means unconditional acceptance of a friend with their failings, foibles, and disappointing us at times! However, there is such a friend, one who loves continually, unconditionally, and never condemns. In God's word it says, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." (I John 4:18 - NIV). The fear of punishment with friends is the fear of disappointing them or not meeting their expectations and being found wanting. The fear of punishment with God is of eternal consequences for our earthly actions...

For me, Jesus is such a friend and when I feel the pressure of people's unvoiced expectations, I must remind myself that I have a friend who never condemns me, with whom I can totally be myself and never fear punishment or judgment. And no matter what I do, he loves me the same as always. When I remind myself of this truth, it gives me hope and encouragement in the midst of the pressure of being under the microscope of people's scrutiny. In the end, when I live to please God, I am far more likely to please people than when I try to please people and forget about pleasing God. And if in any case, people aren't pleased...then in the end it really only matters what God thinks, since he is the one who judges our actions, thoughts, and words and compares us against a known standard. I like to remind myself of what is written in God's word concerning my attitude and who I am really working to please, "Work hard and cheerfully at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and the Master you are serving is Christ." (Colossians 3:23-24) and "And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." (Colossians 3:17)

While it is hard at times to realize this on an emotional level when under pressure, in any case, reminding myself of the reality of this truth helps to defuse the extra stress and focus on what is truly important. And if people think less of me for not meeting their unvoiced expectations when I am doing my very best, well it's not like I can't do any better than my best anyway. And in any case, judgmental people are not the best kind of people to be with on a regular basis - their negative, judgmental attitude rubs off (and that's definitely not something I want to gain). Now wouldn't it be nice if a lot fewer people were judgmental?! Well, I guess it always starts with ones' self - so I can be one fewer judgmental, stress-inducing person in the world (hey, now wouldn't it be nice if that rubbed off?!) :-)

Recent travels to sunny places...

This past week I had the privilege to travel to Carcavelos, Portugal for a European sports conference. It had been mostly cold, dreary, and mizzly in Ukraine since the beginning of September. After enduring the cold whilst fighting with bronchitis, I was really looking forward to traveling to warm, sunny places for a week. But before I tell you the story of my trip, there is the story of several miracles to tell...

I had gotten an invitation to attend this "once every two years" conference back in early June. However, I didn't see how I could actually attend since it would cost too much for me to go. I prayed about it and left it in God's hands. Then, in late July, a girls' group contacted me to see what they could to do help me for their holiday "Christmas in August." I couldn't think of anything other than going to this conference...but didn't think that there was any way that these young girls would be able to raise the money needed for me to go. A month later, I got an email saying that they had raise over 1000 USD for me to go! What a wonderful surprise. I was so shocked and pleased that I almost cried for joy. And what a miraculous answer to prayer!

The second part of the pre-trip miracles was in getting a visa for my friend and teammate, Vova, to go to this conference too. Just after he had given up all hope of finding sponsors, God provided the money he needed to go. So, then he had to apply for the visa, but was told that it was too late and would be impossible to get it in time. However, God is a God of miracles - and wouldn't you know it, He worked a number of small miracles so that Vova could get a visa appointment in time, translate the documents into Portuguese in time, and have all the necessary documents for the visa. And then, after a tense week of waiting and praying, the day before our flight, he got the visa to go!

So, now we come to the trip itself...

I left in the afternoon and traveled by mini-bus to Kyiv, where I was met by Vova and another friend, Lena, at the train station. We hung out together and then Vova and I took a bus to the airport where we waited all night long (and waited and waited). I don't know how many kilometers I walked in circles around the airport waiting area, but I certainly got lots of exercise despite still being sick with bronchitis! Anyway, at about 05:20 in the morning, we were able to check-in and with amazing swiftness, passed through security and border control (the fastest ever through border control in my experience - more answers to prayer!). Then, we waited some more and finally were able to board the flight to Brussels, Belgium en route to Lisbon, Portugal.

It was Vova's first time on an airplane and it was really fun for me to watch his reaction to everything and to see his face light up with pleasure at this new experience. After having flown hundreds and hundreds of times (and traveled multiple times even this year), it was neat to see it all from a fresh perspective.

Praise God, we landed safely in Brussels and were met by another friend and colleage, Leon, who guided us along the 15 minute walk to the office where he was teaching an IT class. We rested a bit, had tea, and then Vova and I set out to explore the nearby city of Leuven, a pretty university city bristling with interesting, unique architecture and delicious waffles and chocolates. We toured the city for several hours before reluctantly heading back by train to Zaventem to pick up our bags and say farewell to Leon. We returned to the airport, checked-in, went through security and were able to do a little window-shopping before sitting on our plane to Lisbon.

We arrived in Lisbon in the late evening and then waited a while for our ride. Finally, Antonio came to pick us up just as we were in the midst of sending a text message to make sure that we hadn't been forgotten (spending one night in the airport was more than enough, let alone two nights in a row!). We arrived at the Praia Mara hotel in Carcavelos, on the Atlantic coast just after sunset, ate dinner, and crashed.

The next day, we were able to explore the beach and hotel and enjoy the pool and bright, sunny weather until the conference registration began after lunch time. The conference went well and was attended by around 40 people from 21 different countries in Europe. There were 3 of us from Ukraine and a few other Slavic-speaking attendees with whom we could chat in Russian. We were extremely well fed (boy was it nice not to have to plan meals and cook for myself for a change!) and were treated to beautiful views of the ocean and sunshine during the entire conference. One afternoon, almost everyone played beach football and then walked on the beach until dinner time. I wanted to swim in the ocean so badly, after not seeing it for 2 years (the last time was at this same conference 2 years ago), but my bronchitis had gotten worse and so after listening to wise advice, I decided it would be better to forego the pleasure, much as it tore my heart to not get in the water (it's in my blood I think). I was able to capture some beautiful sunsets and was glad for the opportunity to be in a warm, sunny place after the dreariness of almost constant rain back home. On the last day, I was able to sleep in a little and rest up and then Zhenya, Vova, and I all flew home to Ukraine together on a red-eye direct to Kyiv. We finally got home about mid-day, exhausted, but thankful for a nice trip and a good time together. Praise God for His answers to prayer and for His continued care for us! :-)

"Poop" phone brings big blessing!

If you don't like the title, I apologize, but that is what my mobile phone is being called, hence the name of this post.

In my next-to-last camp, my poor mobile phone had the misfortune to fall into the nasty pit toilet which had been dug for the camp (and was full of liquid and solid waste). I had no choice but to rescue the phone (with the help of my brave friend, Alyosha) b/c all the phone numbers and calendar info was on that phone, and I needed it to know how to get to the next camp! So, we rescued it (which was quite an adventure, as you can only imagine), using a shovel and a glove I swiped from the kitchen. It took 2 of us to rescue it and then I undertook the task of washing it and disinfecting it thoroughly. But, it still grossed people out...and the phone didn't totally work anymore either.

When I came to Sweden for a visit, they found out about the "poop" phone and surprised me last night with a really nice mobile phone which a man at their church had given for the cause. I promised to throw away the disinfected "poop" phone and transfer everything to the new phone right away. So, what was originally an unpleasant disaster, turned into a nice surprise and a big blessing for me! I have a really nice phone and it's definitely clean! :-)

I am very thankful for the wondeful friends God has blessed me with here in Sweden and with their loving care for me while I am staying with them!

Enjoying Swedish Nature!

Well, I am in Sweden, enjoying the beautiful nature and staying with a wonderful family. I arrived on Friday night and it has been good to rest and not be busy working all the time, especially after such a busy summer. It is a treat for my eyes to be seeing beautiful, green forests and tidy, colorful houses instead of city dirt and Stalinesque buildings for a change. It is refreshing to the soul...

I am still sick, but getting better each day and hardly coughing at all now. I had gotten sick with bronchitis or something while in Germany with my family and then went to the last 2 camps straight-away with no time to get better. In the camps, I couldn't really rest and so I got worse and worse. Now, my liver is not happy (thanks to antibiotics) and I am taking medicine to make it happy again...which is not really fun for me! ;) But, I am so thankful to be feeling better and better each day!

It is so wonderful to be in such a nice, restful place for my holidays and to be able to hang out with friends and see new things and be taken care of so well. It is a huge blessing and I pray that God really blesses the family and friends who are hosting me and taking care of me here in Sweden! They are so good to me!

In the blink of an eye...

It was with sadness that today I learned about the unexpected death of my friend Kevin. He died in a motorcycle crash early on Sunday morning. Apparently he was traveling at a high rate of speed when his bike left the road and he ran into a pole head-on. It's hard to believe that he's gone so quickly, at age 19. I don't think he even had time to react...

In the blink of an eye, everything changes, and life may come to an unexpected end. Whether or not he was ready to meet his Maker, I don't know, but I hope that he was. The question for each of us each day is, are we ready to meet our Maker? Are we living our lives in such as way that there are no regrets, no what ifs or if onlys? Are we living with eternity in mind? None of us know when our last breath will be and whether we'll expect it or it will come unexpectedly, in the blink of an eye, as it did with Kevin yesterday.

I'm thankful for God's amazing grace, and for Him being the God of many chances. The key is to accept that while we have the chance and not put it off until it's too late...

In the blink of an eye,
No time to cry,
No time to wonder,
Just briefest thunder…

Then all is changed,
Nothing the same,
Your life is ended,
Your story unmended,

No second chance,
You’re finished the dance,
No time for remorse,
Life’s run its course.

One question remains,
Eternal joy or pain?

Were you ready?

6 countries in 6 days!

Well, it took God only 6 days to create the entire universe, but He didn't get tired afterwards (despite resting on the 7th day). I feel like I've been dragged about quite a bit after a whirlwind tour of central Europe with my sister and her family!

After visiting me in Ukraine, we traveled together by hot, airless bus to Warszawa, Poland - a tortuous 20+ hours thanks to lack of fresh air and 1 hot, fussy little boy (my dear little nephew). My poor sister had this little human heater on her lap for most of the 20+ hours trapped on the bus! Let's just say that when we saw some bicycles, we all thought it would be quite nice to bike the 500+ km to Warszawa and escape the bus! ;-)

From Poland, we flew to Frankfurt (round-trip for 129 USD - not too bad) where we got a rental car and drove to the center of the Austrian alps, after getting lost for an hour in the middle of the night trying to find our first host in Germany where we spent the 1st night. Oh and I forgot to say that 2 car seats and a normal-sized person didn't fit very well in the back seat of the rental vehicle. My sister and I took turns sitting in the torture seat, where one could barely squeeze one's hips between the seats and one's shoulders and torso definitely didn't fit! We also had a hard time finding our host in Austria, thanks to poorly marked roads, a non-detailed map, and no directions from the host! Thankfully, after another hour of riding around and asking for directions (without any of us speaking German!), we found it and after being greeted by a very hospitable hostess were able to relax and enjoy the quiet beauty of the Austrian alps.

The next morning, we drove to Italy and spent the day wondering in the unique beauty of the Italian Dolomites. Although much of the alps is similar to Colorado or the 100-mile wilderness of Maine, the quaint towns, wickedly twisting roads, and different languages created a new experience for all of us. The pictures just can't capture the interesting Dolomites! I'd enjoy going back sometime...

We left Italy and headed for Liechtenstein, a tiny, friendly country that each of us has always wanted to visit (perhaps b/c of it's very smallness) and then headed back to Frankfurt via Switzerland and Austria, driving through the night until finally stopping at the last rest stop on the Autobahn before the airport at about 03:30, where we each curled up and tried to sleep for a few hours before needing to catch our planes to our respective homes. I curled up in fetal position in the back - once we cleared out the luggage and the kids slept in the back seat while my sister and her husband slept in the front seats. We left at about 05:45 and eventually found a gas station (after an adventure in the corkscrewy parking garage, trying to find where to return the car) and finally got the car parked, unpacked, and entered the airport.

I had gotten sick during the last day of the trip and was feeling really miserable, so I prayed that there'd be reasonably priced tickets from Warszawa to Kyiv so that I'd not have to try to hold together during a long wait in Warszawa and then a much longer bus or train ride through the night (none of which went directly to my city). Praise God, there were affordable tickets left and I was able to get a seat on a plane to Kyiv and only had to wait 4 hours in Warszawa airport, where I was able to rest and even shower (yes, they have showers there - quite cool)! So, instead of getting home sometime on Friday afternoon, I got home at about half past midnight on Friday morning - and was able to get to bed and sleep for about 7 hours before being awakened by both 2 different neighbors doing renovations to their flat with hammer-drills and hammers!

Seeing the world through little eyes

It's been an enjoyable week with my sister Harmony, her husband Mark, and 2 children. The children finally adjusted to the time change a few days ago (yay!) and are sleeping through the night at long last. Of course, I keep staying up late each night - either talking with my sister and her husband, or catching up on missed work (especially since internet has been down for the past 4 days!). Tomorrow is my last chance to get some real sleep before we're on the road again and missing a lot of sleep!

Anyway, back to the adventures with the kids... The first night, they were sleeping in my room and woke up screaming loudly a few hours after going to bed. While I was still half-asleep, I was trying to calm them down, only to realize after a few minutes of useless effort that I was speaking Russian and they didn't understand most of what I said! In the meantime, Mark was trying to come in to help, but in the dark, was pushing instead of pulling the door to open it. Finally, my sister came to the rescue and they both calmed down and went back to sleep...until 2 hours later, the same thing happened. So, we moved them in with their parents and a night light and they slept fitfully, but a little less loudly.

During the day, we've been seeing various sights (what there is to see around here - which isn't very touristy, but interesting enough for fresh eyes). Many of my friends have been able to drop by for lunch or dinner, although some are away from the city in camps or at work. I've also showed them around the city and the office. Wednesday, we celebrated my niece's 4th birthday at a friend's house. Yesterday, we went to a nearby castle (which is almost 1000 years old), my niece's and nephew's first real castle! They were excited and even enjoyed the bumpy ride on the mini-bus through the golden, rolling fields and forests of northwestern Ukraine. Today, we went ice skating at the city's new indoor ice rink (the first time my niece has ever ice skated). She was so excited and did a great job - by the end she was skating by herself with me just following her to catch her if she fell. Tomorrow is clean-up and packing day since we leave for Poland and Germany on Sunday.

It's been far too short a time with them and it will be hard to say goodbye! I'm praying that the rest of my family can come to visit me sometime next year (and stay for at least 3 weeks instead of only 1-2).

On the road again...and again...and again

I have been on the road more often than not this year. In fact, other than the football camp in our city in June, I haven't been home for more than a few days at a time between trips. While many people might envy such a life, it's not all glitter and glam. It's exhausting to be traveling so much and hardly ever home (and when one is home, one is busy cleaning, washing, and re-packing everything for the next trip instead of resting and enjoying time with friends). Since I last wrote in this blog, I've been out of the city most of the time...

At the beginning of the month, I traveled 3 days to Romania by bus for the Central European SportsLink Conference sports training (where I was helping with the teaching), then to Odessa for a football camp in a village at the edge of the oblast. After that, it was another long bus ride home, where I was for a little more than 24 hours. Then, a 13-hour overnight bus ride to Warszawa to meet my sister and her family who are here visiting me for a week and a 16-hour train ride back here with them, a 3-day round-trip journey with no sleep. In a week, it's back by bus or train to Poland and then by plane to Germany and by car to Italy and back and then back home via the long overnight bus ride from Poland after saying goodbye to them in Germany. The day after I get back, English camp begins near L'viv and I have to leave that camp a day early to go to a youth camp in Vinnitsya where I'll be leading a master class in rappelling. Then, I most likely go directly from there to Sweden to renew my visa and registration and hopefully get a few weeks rest, and then travel directly back to Vinnitsya for a few days of team meetings before finally getting to go home (for less than a week before heading out again!). I try not to think about the constant traveling ahead or that this entire year I've only had 2 days off until this week and it's starting to exhaust me in more ways than one!

More than that, I notice that my relationship with God really suffers from not having a regular schedule (which I hardly have a regular schedule normally, but a bit more regular than what I have whilst on the road) and from major lack of sleep and alone time. For example, this month I've gotten about 4-5 hours of sleep each night except for 2 - and I'm absolutely exhausted. My times in the Word and prayer are not nearly as fruitful b/c of the exhaustion and lack of down time. I don't know how others do it in these circumstances, but I really miss having regular uninterrupted time with God. I can see how it negatively affects my character and how the worst in me multiplies rapidly with lack of good fertilizer from the Word. In the next 2 camps, I must learn to be more disciplined somehow so that I can make sure the most important thing remains the main priority despite the crazy schedule and lack of sleep. Otherwise, I've missed the point entirely...

Invasion of the ants...

Ants, ants, ants, and more ants... That's what I'll remember when I think of the Tsegla festival/camp which we just returned from yesterday. It was probably my least favorite camp so far, but it was still not a bad experience overall. What made it my least favorite?

First of all, the camp was in a location which wasn't as nice as where we usually hold our camps (no forest, a not-so-clean lake, unhappy villagers, and campers which were "unique" and somewhat uncooperative). However, the location was far more practical for concerts due to a large cow barn which was cleaned (with 3 days of back-breaking labor prior to the festival) and decorated with black lights and graffiti art on black plastic along the walls. This enabled the expensive sound equipment to be protected (not to mention the campers) during the rain storms and high winds that frequented the camp.

Secondly, the camp wasn't that well organized, and what Veronika and I traveled there to do wasn't needed after all. We had been asked to organize several team-building games and a few big camp night games. As it turned out, the musician groupie campers weren't at all interested in that kind of thing and no one participated in any game except for the hour of icebreakers at the very beginning of the camp. So, in one sense, I felt like it was wasted time to be there - especially as we got very little sleep (thanks to noisy tent neighbors and the schedule) and didn't really drink much at all the whole 3 days and there weren't places to easily wash hands, etc.

But most of all, what made it my least favorite camp was the myriad of ants everywhere in our tent. And when I say a myriad of ants, I don't mean a few ants, I mean fountains of ants crawling into every crevice in our bags and on our bodies. I woke up the first night when an ant crawled into my ear! They were in our hair, in our clothes, in our sleeping bags, in our bags and stuff, basically in and under everything! Whoever set up the tent hadn't realized that he set up the tent on top of several ant hills - and that the ants decided that our tent was part of their new luxury home. When we took the tent down at the end of the festival, the corners were so full of ants it was worse than sprinkles on an ice cream cone. Our bags were so full of ants, they made an ant farm look like an ant-less desert.

That's not to say there weren't good moments too - like helping injured/sick people and keeping an eye on swimmers (my other job there was to be the doctor and lifeguard). There was also good fellowship with fellow helpers and fresh country air to breathe and blue, open skies (when it wasn't raining). There were also some marvelous sunsets and although it was the first camp that I was glad to leave the village and go back to the city, it at least made me appreciative of what I have and the beauty of the countryside.

When I got home, I had to eradicate the invasion of the moths, which had taken up residence and multiplied in my cupboards whilst I was gone... Ah yes, now why exactly is it that it never rains, but pours? Such happenings tend to come in droves rather than one at a time, at least for me.

Now, it's back to work and organizing the next expedition (to Romania for sport training and then a football camp in Odessa) and trying to sort out lots of red tape and administrative details (which is not my forte)! Hmm, I think I prefer the invasion of the ants...haha! ;-)

Football camp (or dancing?)

Tomorrow is the last day of our football (soccer) day-camp in Rivne. It has been from about 11-15ish each day and the weather was great (we are all much tanner now than at the beginning of the camp).

It has been an interesting camp, each day different than the previous day, and the kids behavior improving each day (starting with total chaos and not listening the first day to holding their interest and them listening by the middle of the week). We've spent the last 2 days on shooting (hence the "stayin' alive" pose in this foto) and the kids especially enjoyed playing Ultimate frisbee for a warm-up each day and ending with a full-on game at the end of each day of camp.

Praise God for good weather, for campers, for helpers, and for afternoons to get other work done before the overnight camps begin next week! I'm so thankful for Veronika's willingness to help us out with this camp and other camps here. She's been a real blessing to me personally and to our ministry! Pray for lasting fruit...and for us not getting stressed about all the work ahead and all the decisions that need to come together, that only God can make happen anyway!

Read more about it here »

Radioactive Rain?

Today I heard that there was a minor nuclear accident in our oblast. We have 4 of the country's 15 nuclear reactors in our oblast, all of which are old Russian models. According to officials, there is no danger from radiation, but people here are saying that the radiation levels are higher than usual. So, as rain fell today, I was warned to stay inside and avoid getting soaked by the radioactive rain... It sure makes for an interesting day! :-)

You can read more about Ukraine's nuclear plants here » and about the particular incident in question here » and here ».

A constant battle with prejudices!

Prejudice is a constant battle...one of which I am really tired of fighting.

A good friend recently told me that they just realized that they can truly be my friend now b/c they see that I'm not like a foreigner, I'm like them... And this comment is from a friend that I've been good friends with for a long time!

This was really frustrating b/c it shows that most people will always think of me as a foreigner and put me into a box labeled "foreigner" (with all of it's preconceived ideas and constraints) - even though this is the first place in which I have truly felt at home and that I can be myself, and where "myself" is not weird or outrageous compared to the local culture. ARGH!!!

If I had had a choice in where I was born, I would have been born in a different place, one which does not have so many negative connotations, pre-conceived ideas, and prejudices against it. And that's not to say that I dislike the country of my birth, just that it makes life abroad much more difficult. Even from childhood, I remember wishing that I had been born somewhere else and had dual-citizenship. Why? I'm not sure; I guess it was just interesting to me at the time, especially as I had classmates with dual-citizenship just from being born in a different country from their parent's citizenships.

Anyway, it is discouraging to feel that I have a big label pasted on my forehead which reads "foreigner" that will never go away no matter how long I live here or how similar I am to the people around me or who I am as an individual or how long I am friends with someone. I get so tired of constantly being judged for everything I do and say and held to a standard that's not put upon anyone else. I am tired of people judging me first by where I was born and only later by who I really am (and sometimes the later part never comes). To be honest, it hurts...and I don't know how to ignore it very well.

I guess that's part of what the Bible means when it says that everyone who follows God are aliens and strangers on this earth and that our real citizenship is in heaven. I just wish that my teammates and acquaintances realized that too and stopped labeling me and judging me by my place of birth, instead accepting me as a person who deeply cares about them and is able to relate to them...

But oh well, I can't control them and this hindrance is something that at least so far hasn't kept me from being able to do what I need to do, which is a real blessing despite the frustration. My desire is to relate to and love people and to fit in as best as possible, which is something that God has given me here, even with the prejudice. He gave me a Slavic heritage, a family that was very different from usual in the country of my birth. He created me as a person who feels at home here and fits in well with the culture and the people. But, he also created me with sensitivity and that's where I get into trouble when people constantly judge me and I can't easily shake it off. I need His grace even more to not let prejudice get to me and to be able to focus on Him and others instead of becoming self-conscious and hurt. Thankfully, He's able to do just that and to enable me to live whole-heartedly for Him without being hindered by those who judge me without cause. :-)

Catch-up

Well, it's been a little too long since I've written anything. I've been on the road for most of this year - with a week or two between trips and less time than usual to keep up with the computer stuff.

In April, I traveled with Pasha, one of our volunteers, to the Ukrainian rugby championships in Odessa, where his team and several others from our city participated. A newly formed women's team from our city participated and we were able to share with them and pray with them the night before their first game.

Immediately from the rugby championships (without going home first), I traveled to the UK for a SportsLink consultation where I felt like my brain exploded trying to grasp all the abstract, strategic information that was discussed there. The thing that saved me from going crazy was being able to play frisbee by myself every day for 30 minutes, running around barefooted throwing the frisbee to myself and catching it, training for an Ultimate frisbee tournament. On the last day, after watching me play alone, everyone joined me for a real game. :-)

Afterwards, I traveled via Poland back to Kyiv, where I met up with friends and traveled 17+ hours by train to Mariupol for the Easter holidays. After a nice time celebrating the holiday, it was back to my city via train and mini-bus, a boring 23+ hours.

After arriving late in the evening, I left early the next morning for a 2-day Ultimate frisbee tournament in a nearby city. It was WONDERFUL to play real sport again after 2.5 years of not playing sport. Check out the pictures... It was so great to once again experience God teaching me through the triumphs and struggles of sport. I have missed real sport so much; it was truly a blessing to have the opportunity to play competitive sport and be really challenged once again. Through sport, I grow physically, mentally, and spiritually, like through no other medium.


After getting back from the Ultimate tournament, we led an "Extreme Leadership Training" camp in Vinnitsya with some of our teammates there. It went really well and it was neat to see how much the participants changed from the first day to the last, as they participated in team-building games and spent time with God throughout each day. At the beginning of the camp, it was chaos, but by the end of the camp, the entire group was working very well together, encouraging and listening to each other throughout each of the games. A participant said, "This camp was helpful for my life and leadership because I realized that only unity brings victory." This kind of training has great value for strengthening and equipping churches all over Ukraine, and we plan to host 2 more of these trainings in the fall. If you're interested in participating or helping - let us know!!

Waiting...

This month is a time of waiting on the Lord. The sports ministries I was previously involved in fell apart while I was gone, and I have entered a waiting period, seeking His will for me in what to do next. Soon, our summer camps begin, so there is practically speaking only about 1 month of regular sports ministry (or less) left before the summer season.

One thing that has come about as a result of not being so crazy-busy is that I've been able to help others more and have an opportunity to play sport myself, for the first time in a LONG time. It gives me such joy to play for a change, instead of only coaching and being out-of-shape and stuck to a computer most of the time. I can't tell you how long I've been praying for an opportunity to be involved in playing sport, rather than just coaching, but it's neat to finally have the time to pursue that and feel more complete again. There is also an opportunity to be involved in a local church's worship team, playing bass guitar, something I've really missed since moving to this city. Also, I now have more time for hanging out with friends and building deeper relationships, something which I consider to be more important that being busy getting "things" done.

So, all in all, despite the initial discouragement and disappointment at finding out that everything fell apart while I was out of the country for a little over 2 months, it's turning out to be something for good. And of course, everything is under God's control and timing - and His promise that everything will be worked out for our good in the lives of His children (Rom. 8:28).

(and "good" often means the refinement and development of one's character, which isn't usually fun while it lasts but is well worth the pain in the end!)

It never rains, but pours...

Well, I seem to have a knack for finding "adventures" (or misadventures) - even small ones in the middle of the night. The other night, I reached to turn off the light and knocked over a cup of water - all over the electrical cords!

Needless to say, I had to clean up the puddles of water on the floor, unplug the electrical cord and dry off the plugs, then in the midst of this, the light stops working... So, I grab the flashlight which I keep nearby in case of emergencies, and when I turn it on, it briefly flickers and then goes out... Hmm, and this is supposed to be a "never die" flashlight (the kind you shake and it stores energy into the batteries). So, I start shaking and shaking and shaking it - but no luck. Finally, I go over and turn on the main light, finish cleaning up the mess and see that the reason the flashlight didn't work was not b/c it was out of juice, but b/c it was misaligned and the on/off button wasn't properly depressing the metal strip which makes closes the circuit to turn on the light! Then, just as I'm getting settled down again to sleep, the white noise generator I have to block out noisy neighbors (at all hours) and street sounds went crazy and started making weird crying sounds (and rather loudly). So, I turned it off, tried it several times and then it died completely...joy! So, back to sleep, with soggy books, flickering lamp, and not-so-ready emergency flashlight...

Thankfully, the next day the white noise generator resurrected itself and was back to normal as was the lamp and the books and the electrical cords. I just had to laugh - I always seem to attract these types of misadventures, and not so that just one thing happens at once, but multiple things all at once. I guess it keeps me on my toes or something... I'm just glad that God gave me a good sense of humor so that these things are humorous rather than annoying! :-)

Catching up

Well, it's been ages since I've last written. It's like I got sucked into some time-space continuum and only now have emerged from the backside of the black hole! Anyway, the past several months were rather crazy - lots of travel and of course adventures, as usual. I spent some time in Hungary to renew my visa, then to Poland for a big floorball match (U-19 Poland vs. Ukraine), then to England to hang out with friends, and then to the US to give presentations and share about the work here in Ukraine, and visit friends and family as well. I've been on the road for most of the time since the end of October and it feels really good to finally be back home and starting to settle into some semblance of daily life here.

Whilst on the road so much, it was much harder for me to stay in touch with people and harder to maintain a fresh relationship with God. I don't know about you, but for me when I'm overly busy and traveling so much, the things I usually would do each day get put off or fall by the wayside - like exercise, eating right, and keeping up with relationships. It's exhausting to maintain a hectic, busy schedule without a "home base" to come back to and much harder to maintain focus and discipline in the daily grind.

But, just as the spring rains that keep falling here in Ukraine will soon produce a new crop of grass, flowers, leaves, etc. so does a renewal of the most vital of relationships in life, our relationship with our Creator. He always longs for us to return to Him, to refocus our attention and time and thoughts on Him and is always willing to forgive past neglect when we confess it to Him and turn back to Him. God promised that as long as the earth remains, the springtime and harvest will continue. So it is in our spiritual life. As long as He remains in our hearts, springtime (renewal) and harvest will continue. The key is learning to stay plugged into the source of our power, strength, and life itself. That takes discipline and determined focus, but is something that with God's help can be maintained, no matter what the circumstances. Praise Him! :-)

Dad's birthday

Today was Dad's 65th birthday party (well yesterday my time, today his time). It's at times like these that I miss my family the most. Usually, I am absorbed in my life here, but there are rare times when I really feel the distance, like today. I'm so thankful for modern technology which allows us to keep in touch regularly - by phone, email, and Skype.

Of course, communicating via technology is not the same as seeing someone in person, but it's not like it was for my Dad's family, who emmigrated from Bohemia and whose only means of keeping in touch was writing letters, which took months to cross the ocean by ship. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for my relatives to allow their children to leave homeland and family forever, separated by an ocean that took several months to cross and without the modern luxury of internet, satellite, and telecommunication networks...all in the search of a better life.

It's definitely a great blessing to have access to technology which helps keep family close, despite the physical distance. And it's not like my giving up family and all that was familiar to me to follow God's calling is in vain. My motivation is not for the reward, even though this sacrifice has the promise of a hefty "return on investment" for something far more worthwhile than the temporal pursuit of health, wealth, and happiness; it's the pursuit of truth, a vital relationship with One who is totally worth it, and sharing His love freely with others in distant lands (Mark 10:28-30)...

Snowfall & Old Soviet Holidays

I meant to post this yesterday, but couldn't, so this is from yesterday's musings...

This morning I woke up to a wintry wonderland, a snow-covered city with temperatures regularly dipping below freezing already. Our first snow flurry was about a month ago, when my mother was here, but nothing stayed on the ground. So, this is more like our first official snow of the winter season! I love snow...it makes the cold of winter worth it and beautifies an otherwise less than beautiful Stalin-style cityscape. With the coming of consistently colder weather, comes noisier flats. Because cold air is more dense, sound travels more easily now than in the warmer months...which means that when I go to bed, I can now easily hear normal conversations of my upstairs neighbors, whereas before I could only hear their arguments. That makes me wonder what my downstairs neighbors hear from me!

Speaking of Stalin, today (7 Nov) was the old Soviet "Bolshevik Revolution" holiday. For those of you who think of it as the Octoberists or October revolution that's because was on 25 October 1917 old style date (aka Julian calendar), which is 7 November new style date (aka Gregorian calendar) (more on old vs. new-style ->). Anyway, as far as celebrations here went, the only celebration I observed was a small group of about 30-40 Ukrainian communist party members and onlookers standing in front of the city's theatre with a few red Soviet flags. I suppose in Kyiv or in Russia it may have gotten a bit more fanfare, who knows. Read more about this holiday ->

Today I also got to meet my new friend, Esther, face to face for the first time and talk with her in person instead of via email, which was nice. And boy can she bake some "delicious" chocolate-chip cookies! :-)

I hope that Friday I really get a day off b/c I'm totally exhausted, wiped-out from too much early morning traveling and late evening/night activities. Perhaps if I remember to turn off the phones and doorbell that will be more likely to happen. We'll see!