So many "boys" - where are all the men?

It struck me that in our modern societies, there are far too many overgrown boys in their late 20s and 30s (and even 40s) and far too few men...

I don't say there are no men, because that's definitely not true. However, there currently is a disturbing trend which is allowing the young generation to grow up without really growing up - and this is especially effecting guys...

Maybe it's just me, but I've noticed that we as a society far too often allow guys to be perfectly comfortable being overgrown, lazy, ungentlemanlike, irresponsible men who act like big undisciplined boys and haven't yet understood that it's long past time for them to stop acting up and become real men.

Not only is it not attractive to women for men to act like big babies, but it's not good for society in general. We need men to take responsibility on themselves and be more serious and disciplined and do what they were designed to do (and this doesn't mean just to make money - even a monkey can do that, if trained). We don't need little boys in big bodies who think that it's acceptable to act irresponsibly and be thoughtless in their actions towards others.

I can't speak for every women on the planet, but I think that most women still want men who look out for the good of others and sacrifice themselves to fulfill a promise or to be responsible. We need men who are responsible, have integrity, and care about and look out for the well-being of others. In short, we need "warrior poets" - to coin the phrase of Eric Ludy - men who have a tender heart and yet are strong ("manly") and desire to take care of others. In other words, they have a sense of duty and integrity which helps them to put aside childish things and take upon themselves the duties and responsibilities of adulthood. When was the last time you saw that from the average young man on the streets?

So, who is at fault? Hmm, I would say partly the media and American movies where characters live like irresponsible teenagers far into their 30s and even their 40s and people start to change their idea of normal to match the media (which has openly stated it's goal to push the envelope and go against the norm). Partly this problem is a lack of good training and parenting, and a society that has lowered it's norms. But mostly, I think it's our fault, that is the fault of us as individuals. We've lowered our expectations of men, and as Jaime Escalante said, "people rise to the level of expectation." We get what we expect - and we've started to expect far less than what we should from guys.

Ladies, when was the last time you thanked a guy for opening a door for you? Or when was the last time you asked for help or let a man carry a heavy package for you? When was the last time you expected better, more responsible behavior from guys and gently let that be known (in a subtle way of course, so as not to wound their egos)? When was the last time you allowed a guy to be a leader instead of hen-pecking him or taking over for him without giving him a chance to really shine?

It's time that we raised our expectations and helped young men become real men - ones that our grandparents would be proud of! Do a favor to all the young women out there and help our young men grow up the right way and become great men!

* some books and sites worth reading on this subject:
- "God's Gift To Women: Discovering the Lost Greatness of Masculinity" by Eric Ludy
- http://ellerslie.com/Home.html
- http://ellerslie.com/Eric_Ludy/Eric_Ludy.html
- http://www.powerofpurity.org/
- "Answering the Guy Questions: the set-apart girl's guide to relating to the opposite sex"
- "Authentic Beauty"
- "Secret Keeper: The Delicate Power of Modesty"