Tiggers & schedules don't usually mix...

This has been an interesting week of seeing God bringing me into a better understanding of what I need to do - through several different people.

First, I received an unexpected email from my team leader saying in effect that I need to step back and prioritize what I am doing so that I can do things well and not be spread so thin and not be able to give my best to what I am doing. This is a repeat of what God has been showing me through the past several months of battling ongoing illness and low energy levels.

Today, my dad recommended that I write down my weekly schedule - detailed to the 15 minute interval. Now making schedules and following them are something I've never liked or done very well. I have a spontaneous, free-flowing nature that has a hard time staying inside the lines of a rigid schedule. My natural tendency works very well here in Ukraine, but it doesn't help me when it comes to taking care of myself and making sure that I am taking enough time out to have good spiritual, mental, and physical health so that I am full and able to fully minister to others with joy.

(If you don't know it by now, I'm a workaholic and try to help whenever someone asks. And I don't really like down time (remember I'm a "tigger"). So, you can imagine how hard it is to be good at saying "no" and making myself actually take time to rest and be refreshed on a regular basis. I stink at it...)

Well, I actually forced myself to sit down and write down my schedule (which is variable from week-to-week). What I saw amazed me. I'm so busy, even in doing less than usual while being less healthy, that it's no wonder I don't have time to keep up w/ the basic chores and cooking, let alone sleep...

So, I'm now praying and thinking through how to have a balanced schedule this fall after our busy summer camp season ends. I created a general schedule which would help me to not do too much and leaves time for being flexible and spontaneous enough to react to God-given surprises and maintain friendships.

So, we'll see at the end of August how God provides for me in this much-needed area of self-discipline and whether it is possible to create a balanced schedule such as the nice one I thought up today. I pray that God will have mercy on me and give me grace in this situation, especially since most of my schedule depends on others and I cannot really choose when ministry will be or not be.

However, with that said, I'm confident that God will give me a reasonable schedule for the fall. From what I've seen and understood this year so far, burning myself out and having such a crazy, packed weekly schedule is not part of God's plan for creating a healthy, fruitful servant...or for creating joy!